Three Olives And Some Yarn

Instant Gratification

2011-11-03T21:26:00.006-05:00

Instant gratification: we are all guilty of wanting it, getting it, or providing it in some way shape or form. I have been thinking over the past few days, about this digital age we live in, and how much it has effected the way people interact with each other. Or rather, how much we don't have to anymore.

We can download music, videos, and games. These things take moments. The days of waiting,patience, and yearning are basically over. Need to write a friend? We sit and type out an email and send it out over this great thing called the internet. No one takes the time for correspondence the old fashioned way with a pen and paper. The only time we get mail that isn't a bill or junk is at Christmas in the way of cards. It saddens me to see this happen.

There used to be a romance and a yearning that the younger generation will never really understand or realize. Remember Penpals? Even marriage has become a victim of this crazy age. Brittney Spears married some one for 55 HOURS, Kim Kardashian's latest marriage lasted 72 days, Kenny Chesney and Rene Zellweger lasted 4 months, Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman lasted 10 days.. these are just a few of the more famous examples.

I think we should all slow down and learn to enjoy our lives a little more than to speed through them. I commend my parents for making us go outside and use our imaginations. Yes, it was a simpler time, but, when we were older video games had come out and we didn't have them. To play a game, we had to actually walk to the store with a quarter to play. We got exercise if we wanted to play a game.

Please don't misunderstand me, I do enjoy technology. I like paying my bills online, being able to talk to my friends, sending an email or just catching up. It does make my life some what easier to shop for things I can't find locally. However, I think too much technology has made us forget our manners. We want, no we demand, things to be done quicker. Our manners have been pushed to the wayside, Please and thank you rarely exist, and it saddens me to see these things go to the wayside. People do not appreciate the going above and beyond that others do. They EXPECT it. This disppoints me and angers me at the same time.

I enjoy slowing down and enjoying what happens around me. I watch the buggies come by on sundays. I enjoy my drive to work everyday. After 12 years of driving the same road, I still find new things daily. I love sitting on the back porch having my coffee on my days off. ( just like I am today, i brought the laptop out with me.) I think we should go back to a time where romance involved a little yearning, patience and maybe even a little angst, a time where finding a letter from our beloved could get us through an entire week, a time where we are not so busy that we take an evening and spend it with our families playing board games, a time where dinner together with the TV off still happens and a time that taking a walk holding hands is not a special occaision it's a given.

It's my opinion that we as a whole should slow down, enjoy the simpler things and get back to our roots and stop being so busy that we cant enjoy those small things in life like the smell of the library, the sounds of frogs at night, the phases of the moon and baking cookies on a saturday afternoon. People keep saying they don't have time, but I think the real answer to that is, they don't make time.

That is what has happened with this blog. Facebook has taken over and I have decided snippets of my life and sarcastic posts will be enough than to sit and actually write a thought filled entry that provokes you to think or take action. I am changing that. I was challenged by another facebooker and fellow blogger to get back to this. I am up to that challenge and have decided more of my thoughts and ideas will be expressed here again. So I hope you all enjoy.. Especially you, Deneen!!

Dreams....

2010-06-09T12:54:00.003-05:00

Since I have been taking medication for my fibro, I have been having some strange, strange, strange, vivid, strange dreams.... did i mention strange?

last night I dreamt I was on a 12 story cruise ship, where I had my own personal bulter in my room, named Gabriel. He would come and go when I wasn't there, leaving me everything i needed. I remember a point where I got my books and headed down to the reading pool where every one could sit on the edge of the pool, with their feet in there and read. It was nice.

Then night before last, i was dreaming there was a crazy storm outside, that blew a bath tub up to my back porch, and then once the storm was over.. my back door was left open and Cupcake came walking back in, like he was brand new and ready to have another life here.

Its always something, very vivid, very bright, and very odd.. there have been many others but these are the most recent. I woke up thinking Cuppy was back in my house. It just seemed so real.

A Moment

2010-06-02T23:55:00.003-05:00

there are times when a moment.. a comment.. a sigh.. can bring about a flash back .. a set back... a need to step back .. i hate it .. the people that are inadvertently involved in these situations inevitably believe it has something to do with them.. it doesn't.. not one bit..

its unfortunate.. they are innocent bystanders.. its enough to make me want to just remove myself socially from everything.. and there are times that i do .. another set back.. another scar that still hurts.. another moment from another life time effecting this new one.. i hate it.. i hate that i let that have say in this life.... there are days i feel i have made such leaps and bounds toward letting go of all that crap.. then in one tiny instant..one word.. one moment .. on incident.. i am back at square one.. not for long.. but long enough to shut down.. feel that self doubt.. feel all that i had thought i had left .. in the past .. a thousand miles away ..

i do my best every day not to let that get in the way of me moving forward.. i realise the things we have done.. we have experienced.. good and bad make us who we are right now.. i realise without those things i would be a different person.. i am not sure i would want it changed.. but what i am sure of is i don't like the way the past effects my present and those involved it in .. as hard as i try .. there seems to be no way to disconnect those things..

I Guess I Should Have Known..

2010-05-10T00:28:00.002-05:00

I guess i should have known things weren't going to work between us the day i found you had written about a girl you could have married... and that person was definitely not me. We had talked about being together and you asked if i had to be married to be with some one.. i said no.. and i meant it.. we talked about commitment not needing a piece of paper or some silly rock on a finger.. we talked about knowing where home was ... we talked about being together and made future plans..

I should have just let you go when you took the job in California and left in January instead of being uncharacteristically optimistic about seeing you while you were out there .. and again the same feeling about seeing you more often once you got to grad school in the fall. I suppose this would have hurt less had i just let you go then.. at least it would have been clean ...at least i wouldn't have had to endure this break up over text.. at least i could have looked at you while you told me what was wrong with me..

We were both not with out fault.. I did some things I shouldn't have, but then again so did you . It made neither of us right for any of it. However, the difference is, I got over your injustice and you made a major case of mine. What is done, is done.. I cant change it. I can only hope that maybe you can change the way you look at me, but I am not uncharacteristically optimistic about this at all.

I have missed you so much these past few months my heart has ached.. and now. no reconciliation to make that ache subside.. only more hurt to enhance it..

again remiss but the need to let it out .. well its here

2010-04-29T23:05:00.002-05:00

there are things i go thru i would never air in public.. and thoughts i have .. i would never say out loud.. but of course here i feel i can do both of those things because i have some sense of anonymity that i dont have in real time

but of course.. you all know me well enough i wont open completely up but will say enough to help me make it better for myself... and if no one is reading or commenting here that is fine too .. at least i "wrote my letter" to let it all go..

i am finally getting to a place in my life where i feel a little more secure but still slightly apprehensive about my future. i think i am at a place where i can deal with what is handed me... of course going thru some purging in my house and of course in my mind has helped me profusely.

i feel i should probably get back to this .. i do put snippets of my life out there on face book but i never really discuss the intricacies of my life or get really serious there.. so anyway .. here i am again making another effort to be better at this thing called blogging.. whether i do or dont at least i am getting some things off my chest that need to be ..

My Pupper....

2009-09-14T19:18:00.002-05:00

Cupcake is my great dane.. he is 11.. and yes he is OLD.. i love him so much it hurts to think about a day with out him..but unfortunately that day is coming probably coming faster than i want to admit..

i came home yesterday to him.. stuck in a position..where i have no idea how long he had been there .. but he was there long enough to deficate on himself.. so i had to lift this smelly gross dog.. that i love.. up.. and get him outside so i could at least hose him off and get him to smell better.. i suppose it would be like us trying to walk on a leg that has gone numb.. i had to basically pick him up about 5 more times before i got him washed off and back in the house.. that was a work out considering he is 130 pounds

today .. he is doing much better.. i woke up to him nosing my foot wanting out.. he seems to be ok today but of course slow.. that is normal.. and i am ok with that.. i just cant lift him 5 or 6 times a day.. once is ok .. i just know i am tired and sore today from yesterday..

also know.. that if it gets to the point where he has no quality of life.. and i know he is in pain .. i will make that decision and be a selfless owner and know the time has come.. as much as i know it will hurt me.. i know i cant let him live a life where he is miserable.. sometimes i think its a shame people cant do the same thing.. sometime life hurts so bad ... but i digress

i remember picking up my little puppy a little over 11 years ago.. he barely weighed 12 pounds.. he was cute.. his paws were huge for his body ... his ears were floppy and his eyes were grey .. they matched his fur.. he was soft and silky and clumsy as hell.. he got car sick on his ride home..that afternoon we played with him.. and tuckered him out.. he laid in the hammock with me til his brother showed up that evening via my sister.. they were best friends from the start..

there have been some ups and downs in the past 11 years but i couldnt have asked for a better.. more polite .. and loving dog.. I will spend the last of his time letting him know how much i love him and try to remember all the good times..

Pain

2009-09-12T01:47:00.003-05:00

i wonder.. if the people that keep hurting me emotionally realize.. that it hurts me physically.. I have a condition called Fibromyalgia.. its kind of mysterious.. but it has definate things that effect me.. most of the time its brought on by intense emotional distress.. and that is the cause of mine..

the people that are now causing this distress.. i believe.. or would like to believe.. have no idea i have this disease.. because honestly .. i do try to see the best in people.. however.. it hurts me physcially when you hurt me emotionally.. its hard to explain to people..

my friend Kari.. sent me this in an email and i have copied and pasted it here for every one to read.. hoping it reaches the right place.. i have doubts that it will .. but i do have hopes..

LETTER TO PEOPLE WITHOUT CHRONIC PAIN:Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed.

In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand ...... These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me...Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem like much fun to be with, but I'm still me-- stuck inside this body.I still worry about school, my family, my friends, and most of the time - I'd still like to hear you talk about yours, too.

Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!¨ I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome.

Please understand that being able to stand up for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn't mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one, it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.

Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "concentrating", "being sociable" and so on ... it applies to everything.

That's what chronic pain does to you.Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It's quite possible (for many, it's common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying, "But you did it before!" or Oh, come on, I know you can do this!" If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are--to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.

Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise, or do some things to get my mind off of it¨ may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct if I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, try harder..." Obviously, chronic pain can deal with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can't always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression.

Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/stay in bed/or take these pills now, that probably means that I do have to do it right now - it can't be put off or forgotten just because I'm somewhere, or am right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don't want to get well. Lord knows that isn't true. In all likelihood, if you've heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we'd know about it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It's definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.

If I seem touchy, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding in general.

In many ways I depend on you - people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out... Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or to the store. You are my link to the normalcy of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to undertake again, just as soon as I am able.

I know that I have asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN**************************

********TIPS FOR DEALING WITH PEOPLE IN PAIN

1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can't count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.

2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.

3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It's like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don't take it personally, or think that they are stupid.

4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn't normally bother you, seem too much.

5. Patience may seem short. We can't wait in a long line; can't wait for a long drawn out conversation.

6. Don't always ask "how are you" unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.

7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.

8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.

9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).

10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.

11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body's ability to feel varieties of discomfort.

12. We may not have a good "reason" for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized "disease". That does not reduce the pain, - it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.

So.. Umm.. Yeah

2009-08-03T21:28:00.002-05:00

i did something completely stupid last night. I took my last of my meds night before last but didnt realise i didnt know where my refill was.. yeah.. not good. I barely slept last night.. and when i did .. i had the weirdest dreams.. the one i DID remember had me in Vegas trying to take a baby black and grey alpaca onto a plane in a dog carrier.. WTF?!.. oh yeah and martin and toni where there helping me.. double WTF!? vegas? alpaca? how the hell did martin and toni get involved.. so odd..

well then i had to be at work by 7.. after oh about 3 hours sleep.. today so sucked.. got to work and the pharmacist shoved a pill down my throat.. he made me take it in front of him.. i was gonna wait til this evening so i didnt have to do that time thing.. but i know.. and he knew.. that would have made me emotionally imbalanced all day .. so i get the task of adjusting my time back only two hours a night til i am back to taking it at 9 pm. i took my med at 8 am this morning.. so i have to set the alarm for 6 am tomorrow so i can start that journey.. and fought sleep all day today.. this is not going to be fun.. i have 5 days to get back on schedule.. this so sucks! i couldnt keep my eyes open this afternoon and had a nap but i dont feel much better.. i am trying to stay up so i dont sleep and be up at 3 am ready for my day LOL

i also get the news today that i cant go on my trip i planned this weekend. I have to work. Circumstances beyond my control. one of our employees got jumped last night and beat down.. so we have to absorb his schedule and since i was off already i got pulled to work his ours. it sucks but really .. with my meds being messed up its probably for the best.

i think i over planned this summer anyway .. but there is hope.. i might be able to work it out but i am not keeping my hopes up ..

i did do some shopping yesterday. I bought some patterns and i am going to make some retro aprons.. some hats.. and i found two adorable coats that will be made for this fall/winter. I just have to find the right colour/weight of fabric. I have decided i do not want another black coat. I have two already. I think the one is gonna be so cool for a funky kind of kitschy coat that a nice pair of gloves and hat will make very nice.. the other is very nice but i think more classic and maybe i will go for a darker apple-y green since i wear that colour often and it compliments other colours well or maybe a dark red... hell .. maybe i will make a couple.. we will see how the first one goes.

i do need to make a trip to nashville to the fabric store.. and maybe even to the fabric outlet here in town.. sometimes you can take upholstery fabric and make a coat.. like tapestries and velvets work well for this and sometimes you can even find a nice wool or silk there.. maybe that will be part of my venture tomorrow.. it would be nice to find something here in town but i am not opposed to a trip to nashville to make this happen and find the perfect fabric.. i did find some fabric for a couple aprons yesterday.. those should be fun..

well i am gonna go deep condition my hair and get ready for some sleep.. maybe..here is to a night of almost normal dreams!

looking back

2009-07-31T13:23:00.002-05:00

the past two years have been hard on me.. and those around me.. its been a journey .. a battle.. a nightmare.. and sometimes surreal

i have been doing alot of thinking lately.. about my relationships.. life..house.. things.. i dont even know where to begin.. there are days i sit here and cry.. just really letting out all the hurt i have left inside..

one large thing i have realized is you cant make some one love you back the way you love them ever.. and sometimes.. even if they say they love you .. it doesnt mean its the same as yours.. and because you love in a different way doesnt mean they are not giving you all they have.. maybe that is the best they have ... its what they can give..i have also learned its not a crime to want more.. its not wrong to need more ..

i have been making a journey to get back to me after ten years of off and on losing myself in something that was never going to work out .. no matter how hard i tried.. but i was to stubborn to let go and realise i wasnt the failure.. sometimes things just dont work out .. for whatever reasons there may be...the blame game gets you no where

for years i have not been able to grasp the concept of monogamy.. i really dont get it .. or maybe i havent found the one that was my everything.. i find people interesting and i truly believe you can love more than one person at one time.. i find the key to making these relationships work is honesty.. and hoping the ones involved understand where you are coming from..

on the other hand.. i have found that i really like me and who i am .. or rather who i was.. and right now i am still trying to figure out who i am right now.. after years of being told what i was not.. and years of being told i was a plethora of things that just werent true .. but you know in life its much easier to believe all the bad things said about you than the good ones.. the trick is.. you have to know you ARE the good things.. and you need to surround yourself with people that support those things.. not ones that try to make you into some one they think you should be

there are still those times i wonder.. what if i did more.. what if i changed more .. what if things were different.. and the answer to all that is.. i would have just become stepford... really.. just would have been what was expected and wanted from me with no identity but being part of that group of identifers.. and the half of a whole that was dysfunctional..

so.. i am finally letting go of 11 years of baggage.. well .. let me just say maybe not 11.. it wasnt all bad..the beginning was really good.. then it was all downhill from there.. so lets say 10.. i am letting go of 10 years of fights.. disagreements.. disappointments.. insults.. mean things..it really feels good..

it also feel good to finally get some things done in this house with out a fight .. no debate over what would be better.. no fighting for what i want.. its great..

am i lonely.. ? sometimes.. is that ok ? yes.. am i sad.. ? sometimes.. but that is to be expected..

i will say i am enjoying life more.. i dont feel guilty for taking a weekend and just riding my motorcycle... i dont feel obligated to explain my self to any one .. its freeing and nice..

and all one big huge crazy adjustment.. but on the inside what i feel most is peace.. and i havent had that in a very long time

Spring Has Sprung

2009-04-26T22:52:00.003-05:00

this weekend.. i did my rounds.. i picked up plants from here .. coconut liners from there...made plans for mulch.. raked and de-leaved flower beds.. and i think i planted about 50 plants and spread some seeds. I was a little shocked to see some of the things i was sure would come back this year not.. and somethings i was sure that would die didnt..

its weird how it all works out that way huh? .. i picked up some things i have never planted before and we will see if they can survive in my garden LOL.. i am hoping more things stick around this year than last. A couple of the roses i bought last year totally surprised me because they were on the discount bin looking rather weak and pale..but came back this year in full force.. the clematis i planted a couple years ago has gone crazy! its blooming completely abundantly !! i need a new trellis for it.. or at least for the rose its taken to climbing on.. i need to take some pictures as well..

i have motorcycle updates as well.. i did a few small things so far and i have one giant job i would love to get done by the weekend but i dont forsee that happening.. its changing out my wheels and my pulley.. i need some help getting my bike up on the lift!! I guess i shouldnt have lowered it down as far as i did then i wouldnt have that problem now would i? LOL Its gonna look hot when i am done.. and this year i am running the pearl tins with the white ghost flames.. heheh..

i have other updates too .. but i dont think i am ready to lay that all out here.. maybe some day i will be brave enough to let every one into the depths of my life.. but for now.. i dont think i am ..

that will have to be for another day..

on another note i am calling to make an appointment to get my next tattoo.. i cant wait! its gonna so rock!!

I have also made a decision regarding my bathroom situation.. I have been trying to find that perfect tub.. well guess what? i was browsing thru some cabins for rent in the smokies.. and i found my solution!! i am going to use a galvanized stock tank.. aka a horse trough.. it will be 2ft deep..2 ft wide.. and 6ft long. .. a nice big soaking tub! i cant wait to take a bath! i havent had a bath in this house EVER.. the tub here sucks ass... and i have been on a hunt to find "just the right one"... i think this one fills all my needs.. it will be deep enough.. long enough and wide enough.. and even two people can fit in .. my vanity is going to be a dresser i have upstairs that i will stain and seal with helmsman urathane so steam wont ruin it.. and i will put a galvanized oval "bucket" of sorts on top for the sink.. i can see it all in my head.. i think its gonna be so cool!! and total cost for these three things... 145 dollars! and i already have the tile.. i have been debating the black slate.. but i think in such a small room i think i will stick with the lighter stuff i have .. and i am going to wall paper and do new trim.. i think i can keep this total cost of this project under 500 .. and that will so rock.. i just need to find a little help getting this old crap out of here and putting the new stuff in !! i am sure i can find some one.. anyway .. had to share!

Unexplainable

2009-03-22T12:56:00.002-05:00

today.. i have an unexplainable desire to scream.. i also have an unexplainable desire to just let it all out and sob.. i dont understand it.. maybe i am tired.. exhausted .. five weeks of six days a week working will do that.. maybe i am tired of people fucking with me.. if you have something to say .. fucking say it.. dont allude .. dont try to make me guess.. just fucking say it..

there are a couple people right now that are game players trying to drag me down.. and i usually dont get down about this but when they try to drag people in that i actually care about.. then there is a problem

maybe i am just hungry.. i get this way when i need to eat.. or maybe i am just at the brink of mental break down and i just dont even know..

perhaps tomorrow i will forget all about it .. but for today .. i am a mess.. fuck.. i have to go to work in about 2 hours so i guess i should get it all together..

for right now.. i think i am just gonna go have a shower and let it all out .. and hope the neighbors dont think some one is trying to kill me.. although i think there are people that would like to mentally crush me.. and right now.. i think they just might be winning..

Welcome Spring

2009-03-18T23:11:00.002-05:00

Today it was 74 degrees and gorgeous around here.. i have seen signs of spring every where.. the hyacinths are blooming by my back door.. there are buds on my lilacs.. i hear motorcycles every where.. the forsythia in my neighbors yard is blooming those wonderful yellow flowers and i can see them when i look out my kitchen wondow while doing dishes..

i moved my hammock nearer my house so i can use my laptop in the evenings while relaxing out there.. i love wireless!!! my poor plum tree in the front yard was destroyed.. well rather pushed over by the heavy winds we had a few weeks ago.. is in bloom.. it makes me sad it cant be saved..but you know it was in an odd place anyway .. and i can always plant another in the back yard or in a place that makes better sense as far as shade and placement go..

i worked out in my flower beds today and got some clean up done.. i need to make a trip to lowe's or home depot and get some mulch to spruce up the beds a little and i also need to get out in front and get the rest of the leaves that were blown against the foundation of the house in the flower beds raked out and bagged.. i need to do a bit of pruning to the apple trees and trim back a few things and move some bulbs.. i swear i am gonna move those bulbs every year and fail to do it .. well this year .. its getting done!! i am tired of weirdly placed things in my yard.. i am going to move them into some of the flower beds and into the little line that goes between my neighbors yard and mine.... i also am going to get a shade garden going under my tree in front .. i cleaned it up last year and spread some seeds but some how they didnt sprout.. that might have to do with the non watering of them LOL..

i have good hopes for things this year .. i am prepared and happy to be here and ready to do some things with out any consent or decisions based on what any one else would think.. freedom is nice..that is why things around here are getting done.. cause i can do something i want with out some one coming in behind me making a face at that decision .. not going there.. really i am not..

jessicas space up stairs is almost done and with that she came in and announced that she was gonna move in with a friend that was closer to school and work (from here to school is a half hour and to work is 20 minutes) and when you are busy or need to come home for something it can eat an hour of your day .. and i totally understand it.. she felt bad because i had spent so much money up there but you know what..?? it works out for me .. really it does.. i can make those two rooms into my office and my work room and actually have a spare space for sleep overs as well .. so its really ok and she is always welcome back here if something happens between the two of them..

on the motorcycle front.. i have plans for a "spring fling" in oklahoma in may... some "midwest thunder" in michigan in june and i have been been invited to florida in september to go relax by the water .. and i am sure i will find other adventures on the way.. its gonna be a nice summer i can tell already..

Halo Moon

2009-02-09T00:26:00.002-05:00

the halo moon here tonight is gorgeous.. it doesnt happen often but the full moon seems to bring out the most beauty in the night.. the moon was so bright tonight i cast a shadow when i took the dogs out .. the air feels magickal especially since there was a halo tonight!!

i went to work today .. it was kind of boring..it gave me alot of time to think about things i need to do at home.. things i need to do in my life.. and things i need to just get together finally now that i have only myself to be accountable for .. if that makes sense?

i am finally at a point in my life where i dont feel the stress of other people's influence on how or why i make my decisions.. and on that note.. i feel and own my decsions wholly.. it doesnt mean they are all right.. but they are all mine and for me...at this moment...that means alot..

i am making changes and persuing directions i dont think i would have ever thought possible just this time last year.. actually this time last year .. i didnt really think i was gonna make it through at all .. i was at one of my lowest points health wise that i have been in for quite some time..

i look back and see the steps i have taken in the past year and i am really amazed at myself.. things i thought would break me didnt.. things i thought wouldnt kind of did.. i know i am talking in riddles but the truth of it all is just for me.. i am tried of making excuses and saying i am sorry to people who in the long run dont really care at all anyway

i think i am ready for even bigger things but for now i think i will settle on getting my house to the point it should have been years ago and i just couldnt seem to get it there.. that ismy goal for summer.. update my room.. get jessicas space completely finished.. get my craft space arranged .. and get my foyer.. and parlour finished up .. then i can start on the kitchen next year!!

Weather

2009-02-07T17:46:00.002-05:00

mother nature has been a whore lately ! serious.. at the beginning of the week we were at 6 degrees at night .. and today ? 66.. what the hell ? its january ..

whatever..

its been busy around here.. more cleaning purging storing and work .. we are almost done with the two rooms upstairs.. i will take pics when they are done.. i am ready to start wtih the downstairs as well .. my bedroom gets a freshening soon as well .. i am repainting and rearranging.. the colours is going to be a nice peachy brown or would that be browny peach? i dont know but i do like it!

jessica being here has been good for me.. it makes me want better for the house and it makes me motivated to get things done.. and she is good company.. its been nice to have some one to talk to and i think she is enjoying having some one to talk to as well and bounce ideas off... i am so proud of her.. she only has one more semester at school.. then she graduates.. she went for an interview for the school paper and is looking for an internship for the summer.. all of these things will help her get a job once she gets out of school....

this past couple months has been good to me actually .. i have gotten to reconnect with some old friends.. find a couple new ones and i feel i am branching out in ways i never thought possible.. i have big plans for the summer as well.. i have a few big ride trips planned and alot of small ones as well .. i hope to double my miles on my bike by the end of the summer ! so excited to be feeling well and up to all of this ..

off to get more done for the day .. the dogs need washed and i need to scrub the bathroom!

Rennovation

2009-01-08T21:15:00.002-05:00

sometimes our lives need rennovation.. sometimes its our houses.. and at this point.. for me.. its both...

my niece is due to move in on the 20th and i sit here exhasuted.. tired triceps.. sore calves.. aching shoulders.. feeling great.. i feel accomplished.. i feel powerful.. i feel proud.. i have worked hard the past couple weeks.. purging things from my house.. placing things in storage to get ready to do a few projects downstairs.. i have been working on Jecasso's room upstairs as well.. the bedroom.. the relaxing room can be finished when she gets here..

in her bedroom we have put up insulation.. ceiling tiles.. and i am about to go keep cracking on getting the paneling up the stairs and on the walls as far as i can go.. i still need a couple insulation boards.. but i can get at least half the panels up tonight if i try real hard.. i think i need some coffee..LOL.. or spinach!! lol

so once all that is all up then the carpet can go down and the trim up and viola! done ! LOL.. jecasso spent yesterday evening painting trim a deep chocolate brown.. well the colour is called tree bark.. and the walls will be tiger eye.. a gorgeous golden brown.. she will also have red wall paper on a couple walls that looks like notes are written on it.. with a little international travel border in the middle.. yes i will take pics.. its gonna be gorgeous!!

she will have a platform bed.. and a small sitting area with a TV in it for her personal use.. the other room which can be completed later.. will look like the inside of a harem tent.. the walls will be draped with creme coloured fabric with sheer layers of colours over it .. with some nice cushy carpet and huge pillows every where.. this will be her computer space plus the space that has the cable and the movie channels and will offer a clear space for our yoga, belly dancing, and pilates work outs !

its actually going to be nice to have some one in this big house with me.. i have been rattling around here alone for a very long time and its gonna be a treat to have some one to hang out with and share with.. i know it sounds weird but i think its gonna be fun! of course i know Jessica loves her privacy and i would never butt in on that unless she asked etc.. but i think having some one here will motivate me into being a better house keeper .. it will help me eat better because i will have both of us to cook for .. and it will just be fun..

anyway .. off to work again!! have a great evening and watch for pictures in the coming days .. i should have some in oh say about a week !! actually i am hoping even before that !!

Sitting Here

2009-01-04T21:01:00.004-05:00

Sitting here ..

listening to the rain tapping on my window
thoughts of us .. 20 years ago .. wander thru my head

many different scenarios run around as well

i remember you fondly

you said i made you nervous.. maybe i will understand that one day

if you decide to translate the statement..

my heart breaks for you .. the loss of your mother .. i cant imagine

i watched you .. as she was lowered into the ground.. i wanted to wrap you in comfort

because it didnt seem your wife was too concerned..

maybe we can be friends this spring

The New Year

2009-01-02T16:54:00.002-05:00

so .. lets recap

this past year has been a year of ups and downs..and finally i feel i am back on the up...

i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after fighting with doctors for months.. i got on meds.. and i feel so much better..

i got a job with a good company that despite all the economic turmoil.. has still grown the past few years..

i finally let go of a toxic relationship that has lasted off and on for the better part of 10 years.. and honestly i feel better about that too .. now i just have to get myself back to good.. but that is probably going to take a little while..

i survived las vegas with my sisters and niece with out much incident.. which is always good..

the holidays were nice and low key..with out fight or flare up and i got to share thanksgiving with some one new and special to me..

i had to recently attend a funeral and have another tomorrow..

i didnt do alot of motorcycle riding because i was adjusting to meds and now i have more things i have to do .. like work at a job outside of the house LOL.. and find time to clean and take care of my animals

this year .. i plan on it being a bit different.. i plan to work .. do more riding and enjoy myself with out the shackles of past emotional prison.. my anxiety .. depression and pain..

this year i am going to make sure i know who i still am.. i think i lost my way a little bit in the past couple years..

so here is hoping this year will be better than the last..

Vegas Bound

2008-12-12T00:00:00.002-05:00

so this weekend we are vegas bound..

the we i am talking about.. me, my two sisters, and my niece who just turned 21 on monday !!!!! we are leaving early in the AM.. and will be there til monday with our return home monday in the early evening

i have booked us a room at The Signature at the MGM and we have a funfilled weekend planned.. i have some old friends to see and so does my niece.. we will see them sunday evening for dinner.. friday when we get in we will maybe take a nap go get a few things from the grocery and then go out to explore.. then saturday have a nice lunch and explore some more .. sunday i think we may hit hoover dam go to dinner and maybe some drunken bowling later .. then leave monday morning to return home..

i am excited.. been looking forward to this for a long time.. and its been way too long since my sisters and i have gotten to get out of town, and we have vowed to try to make this a more frequent event.. like maybe every three months make a spa date out of town .. maybe just in nashville.. but a weekend none the less..

this past year has been good for me.. there have been some difficult times..but it has brought me closer to my family and sisters.. and this is an awesome thing.. its been good.. i have no complaints...anyway .. i have to finish packing.. see you all later !!

Just Stuff

2008-09-26T13:44:00.002-05:00

its a gorgeous day here.. i wish i had time to ride before work but that isnt happening.. i had too much stuff to do this morning .. oh well.. maybe tomorrow i will ride TO work since i will get home before dark.. i dont like riding home on my road after dark.. too many wild animals that could get in the way .. and that is a risk i am not willing to take..

this summer was kind of a let down on the amount of riding and rallies i was able to attend... seemed like bad timing followed me around all summer. I did make it to Kansas city and that was awesome seeing old friends, making new friends, cementing bonds, and even getting closer to some of the people i am proud to call friends.

next years schedule is happening come hell or high water.. life is too short to put off things that make you happy. its too short to be in relationships of any kind that pull you down or make you feel bad..

i feel i have gotten to a better place now and ready for a new chapter of my life to begin.. i have the races next weekend .. a wedding in plano the weekend after that .. and i even have a date going with me !!! that makes me happy.. then i am hoping to get some more riding in before it becomes too cold to ride here.. yes i am a pussy .. i dont like being cold on my bike

my niece will be moving in with me at the first of the year.. that will be nice to have some company around here and another person in the house.. this place is just too large for me.. i rattle here.. i have alot of plans and a lot of things i want to get accomplished before she moves in.. here is hoping they get done...

i will be starting a school in a couple of weeks that will allow me a better position at work and i am excited about that as well.. i am hoping it goes well .. anyway .. ihave to get ready for work.. and run an errand before i get there so i bid you all a wonderful weekend...!!

This Song

2008-09-25T22:27:00.003-05:00

is heart wrenchingly beautiful and sad .. all at the same time.. it brings me to tears..it brings up places i sometimes think about but not often.. the memories are too bittersweet for me...

link to the video HERE

lyrics :

1000 times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But, love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through 7 bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you

Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We - we could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you

Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I,

I wish this could last forever

I, oh I,

As if this could last forever
Love remains the sameLove remains the same

Bittersweet

2008-09-22T23:57:00.004-05:00

sometimes life throws curveballs and we have to try to understand why and learn how to hit them.. this one i am not so sure i will ever figure out

i went to my annual v-rod rally last week .. i got to see people that i had not seen in a year... due to one circumstance or another from the late spring and thru the summer my plans to attend several rallies were derailed.. but come hail or high water i was going to KC.. and when my bike didnt start on sunday .. well i just threw my crap in the MINI and took off..

it was good seeing all those people .. its like a huge family reunion that happens to have bikes involved... and every year we get to meet new family members that decide to come and hang out with us... and every year all the old pros get to see each other and strengthen the bonds made with every one..it was great to meet new people

taking the MINI happened to be a blessing in disguise as we recieved rain from the tail end of not one but two hurricanes while we were there...i think this worked in a way to make all of us even closer since we could just hang at the pavillion or the party barn.. i heard some conversations saying they had never been to a rally but felt like they were home and among firends.. some one on my forum made the comment that we all were just friends that we had just not met yet.. and i couldnt have put it better myself..

i spent the week cooking and mingling and just being me .. i also got some much needed rest when there were group rides (i didnt have a bike) and things not scheduled during the afternoons.. i would hide out in my cabin and sleep or just relax and knit on my screened in porch with some coffee or tea... people that wanted to see me would stop by and it was nice to have one on one conversations...

now to the bittersweet part...

we all lost a good friend to a freak accident while there (no i will not tell the story but will say it didnt involve his motorcycle).. he was one of the best people i had ever known with a girlfriend who was just as nice as he was .. they were perfect together.. then he was taken from us .. and she was left to pick up the pieces and the rest of us there to help us thru.. i am so glad she has us to lean on .. and saddened at the same time knowing she isnt getting to spend the life they had planned together.. the thing that makes this most tragic to me.. he was going to propose in front of all of his "family" at our closing banquet saturday night..

today was the funeral and it hurt me not to be there..it was in rochester and i couldnt get the details worked out to get there... we had been "friends" for about a year before i ever met him at last years rally .. and i got to meet her too last year.. they were the kind of people that were so in love you could feel it radiate off each other.. i was jealous of that .. and told them so .. i also told them i wished to be so lucky in this lifetime...my heart completely breaks for her.. the family made sure she still recieved her ring.. and they are making sure she gets every thing that i wife would have gotten.. very sweet and caring of them .. incredible people..

my heart has broken over a dozen times this past week .. and i wonder how many more it will before i can get over this .. and i know my pain is nothing in comparison to hers..

the good thing that came of this .. he was an organ donor and with in hours of the harvesting of them he was able to give at least three people that i know of a second chance at life.. and hope there are more being helped.. so at about 6 am sunday morning .. with elton john saying goodbye and a guardian bell ringing he left this world..

live free my friend... say hi to me every now and then if you can ...

Rona

2008-08-28T23:15:00.002-05:00

Yes .. I admit it.. i am in love..

in love with Rona !

so is Lani... i hope i am not telling your secrets LOL!!

we are both having a mini knit along with each other starting the 1st of September.. feel free to join in.. let either of us know.. and we can keep tabs on your progress as you keep tabs on ours..

this is gonna be so fun.. i hope i finish before lani.. but i think she will beat me.. and yes.. i have gotten over DPN fear .. and will start this on them !! wooooooooooohooooooooooooo...

and just as luck would have it.. i have the perfect yarn in my stash.. i will be able to do this shawl with one long strand.. no grafting or weaving ends for me .. YAY!!

i have also been finishing up some things and posting on that glorious place called Ravelry !!

yeah yeah .. i am late to the party but at least i am there .. finally .. and i am finally feeling better as well !!

Weighed and Measured

2008-07-02T22:47:00.002-05:00

Today was weigh and measure day here at the Jacobsen Gymn ... my niece and i started working out very regularly and decided to keep a work out journal .. keeping track of exercises.. reps.. etc.. and wednesdays are weigh and measure day.

So the big news is.. i lost 2.4 pounds and 1.75" today.. last week i didnt lose any weight.. but i lost 4".....this week was nice..we are going to start a harder cardio this week.. and more reps on a few of our exercises we have been doing.. that balance ball is the shiznit!! i never knew how much you could do with one and how challenging it could be.. we have been doing this for three weeks now.. and i already feel stronger and better.. and i feel best the days i work out.. i take a couple off in the week but i think i am gonna make that only one.. and just rotate between weigh/ball work outs and cardio..

any way .. just trying to keep up with this thing .. and i will try to recap my year here soon ..

Feeling Better

2008-06-29T01:21:00.002-05:00

I am feeling better but not without cost. Of course the things in this life worth having usually come with a price. I am finally to a point where i want to pull my head out of the sand and start reintegrating myself back into the world.

I want to thank all those people that let me deal with it like i needed to with out making me feel worse about every thing else happening in my life. I tell you it wasnt many that is for sure. My family believe it or not, came through better for me than i ever thought possible. There were a few bumps in the road. At first my mom thought i could just snap out of it until she got to see me on a really bad day. My dad was pretty understanding. He knows i am smart enough to ask for help when needed and has always let me ask for what ever help i might need and not smother me. That was good. I think this whole thing has brought me and my family closer. It also showed me who would be there still standing in the end when all the smoke cleared.

I have been working on my house and yard. Things here are going slowly but they are going. I also have put in to actually have a job. I think part of this whole thing is i needed out of this house and to be a little more social. I dont have a huge network and i never will, but i think just having a reason to wake up and get going in the morning will be a very good thing for me. This company has a great benefits and an awesome 401 k plan. The past two years showed a nice contribution on the company's part. I am looking forward to it. I will be doing my drug test some time this week and the store opens in a couple weeks so i am guessing training will start soon.

I will still be doing all my other stuff.. this is just extra which will be nice and the best part is its only 8 miles from my house!!

Another good thing from this is my sisters and i have been having some very good and deep converstaions and we have decided to take a "family" vacation next year to Hatteras, NC. I have found a beach house that will accomodate us and all the kids. That us would be my mom and step dad.. my older sister and my niece jessica with my sisters husband and her stepkids.. the twins.. my younger sister .. her husband her two children and her two step children.. So we will have kids in the house ranging from 8 to 20.. I am already excited about it and its a year away. I am just goofy. I also have jessica's 21st coming up in December and we are headed to a long weekend in Vegas BABY!! .. well the we is my two sisters and jessica.. its going to be nice.

I have been promising to keep up with this blog.. I honestly am going to quit promising and see where it all goes. The longer i sit here "bored" the more i thought about writing. By the way the doc decided I had fibromyalgia.. and there was a small factor of my thyroid not fucntioning to full capacity but not low enough to cause some of the problems i was habing .. so now i am in the second lowest dose of Synthroid and 60 mg of Cymbalta daily. I have also been motivated to start working out and in the two weeks of starting i have not lost a pound but i have lost 4 inches total in the measurements i have taken .. those include upper arm, waist, hips , and upper thigh.. i didnt want to keep up with every thing but those are the ones i wanted to work on most. I am pretty proud.

In my abscence i have been to colorado to visit Lani and see her new house. May i say .. its GORGEOUS.. and the area she lives in is GORGEOUS.. and she took me for german food and my favourite waiter is still there and GORGEOUS !! LOL...i plan on going back this fall . That will definately be nice..

Well i think that is all i have to say for now . I have lots to tell and catch up on.. I need to get busy with that. This past year has been crazy of course. and i still have alot of egypt to tell !!

Why Is It

2008-04-18T01:52:00.003-05:00

i really had a good day .. only to get home and have every one i come in contact with try to ruin it..

its just fucked up .. and i am tired of ppl trying to bring me down .. give me a fucking break already ..

i am already pushed to my limits..

tomorow has to be better right?

WOW

2008-04-14T00:07:00.002-05:00

we had storms last week.. i feel like every one should have had storms last week.. this spring has been one big rain storm after another.. this one was different..

it damaged my huge maple out front.. one of the reasons i loved this house to begin with .. it was a gorgeous tree.. however sick from the inside out.. had to call a tree surgeon.. long story short .. it was removed today .. my 125+ year old tree..

i am sad but know i did the right thing albiet leaving me fairly "poor" not really but who knew tree removal cost 950 dollars? i sure didnt but i tell you what the guy that took it out .. did a stupendous job and didnt damamge anything but my yard a little.. nothing that cant be fixed.. ihave been too sad to up load pics but i did take some good ones today.. i will post them up tomorrow you can see before and afters..

i continued on my cleaning streak this weekend.. got the kitchen really cleaned.. my laundry room and my bed room still needs a little. the back entry got some work too .. i caught up on my laundry and for tomorrow i plan on stripping my bed and washing my linens and blankets and changing out the bed sack thingy.. and putting on my spring/summer stuff and putting way the heavy winter things.. i am hoping to complete my bedroom stuff tomorrow so i can get cracking on that damned craft room of mine.. i dread it but it needs done.. i feel stifled since its not at a place where i can use it constructively ..

anyway .. that has been my weekend.. oh i did venture out tonight and i got two new magazines and a new harley road atlas.. i love the bookstore.. i could live in one .. that is for sure.. well for now i need to go .. wish me luck with the house tomorrow..

On A Roll

2008-04-09T12:53:00.002-05:00

i am really trying to make this habit.. last night i was away from my home and computer so an entry didnt get made.. c'est la vie! i had a good time and that is what matters i guess..

i know i still need to at least finish my egypt installments... i think i will work on that tonight in word and transfer it all over to here.. i need to before it gets to a point where i have forgotten more than i remember LOL

i am inspired today so i have no messengers on nor have i visited any of my usual suspect sites.. i have been cleaning my room and kitchen.. the kitchen is done except for the mopping of the floor.. every thing has been wiped down organized and cleaned.. i will do the floor in a bit.. i have been decluttering my room.. its beginning to look like a bedroom.. not a big old pile of clutter.. i am taking all the yarn that doesnt fit in my basket tower into the "craft room" which needs some work too.. that is on the agenda for tomorrow.. i wont go into why i havent tackled it .. let's just leave it at its been a point of contention and discussion for a while.. actually i will be glad to get it done.. i have been feeling creative lately and want to get in there and do some actual work.. i just cant bring myself to do it while the rest of the house is in "ruins".. not really but i need to get it all worked out before i get in there but i hope by the end of the day to have it done..

my coffee break is over.. so i am going back to work ..

Monday Night Bowling

2008-04-08T00:41:00.002-05:00

i signed up for league back in Oct.. in hopes of a repeat of last winter and some serious silliness.... well long story short we (our team) ended up on monday league with a bunch of seriously fun retarded people.. LOL.. its been a long winter on league.. i think we only have three weeks left.. at least this MADE me get out of my house once a week thru all the crap i have been struggling with whether i really wanted to or not..

i am not the best bowler.. but i will say i have imporved this season.. i have earned a triplicate patch which shows consistancy.. it means you made the same score three games in a row.. i also earned my 180 patch.. where i bowled a 185 one night on league.. its been an ok season but look froward to next winter's league when we can go back to friday and have a little more fun .. this one was way too serious for me that is for sure LOL

on a side note.. i parked my car under a tree last night and when i got up today .. it was shit bombed by birds.. i am not kidding it looked like some one took a white paintball gun to it .. i will post a pic tomorrow..its crazy..

hope every one had a not so manic monday.. mine was ok ..

After The Ride

2008-04-06T23:27:00.002-05:00

got a ride in on my bike today.. man.. the old saying is true

"four wheels move the body..two wheels move the soul"

i needed those 200 miles today with some pals.. it was nice.. i am exhausted i think i should sleep well tonight..

was hoping for a phone call this evening but didn t get it .. (cryptic i know but not willing to reveal my whole life right now)

kind of disappointed but honestly my head hurts and i think i will call it an early night

trying to get back into this blogging thing every day.. even if its just a small post..

marvie.. thanks for the info.. will talk to the doc about that next appt .. Kari had suggested it as well .. it very well may be something to the sort

Yeah I Am Here

2008-04-05T20:10:00.003-05:00

I promised to be better.. i did..

but i wasnt.. i apologize....i have had a really rough hard winter.. i will confess there were times i wanted to give up .. i wont lie and sit here and say i fought a tough battle this winter.. i curled up and hid or tried to most of the time.. i thought of ending it several time.. but i just couldnt quite bring myself to it..

i dont know what happened.. i have been the deepest and darkesst this winter with no explaination.. i have been tired and exhausted beyond what i could describe in words..

i have been to countless appointments.. and have had countless vials of blood taken trying to figure out what is going on with me to no avail at this point.... i still have a few more appointments and maybe i will have some answers then..

i have let down many people.. i have made even more feel badly .. not my intention..all i can do is apologize to those people who mean so much to me.. its the people that are closest to me that suffer the most when these things happen because i don t even know where or how to ask for help.. the thing is no one can really help me.. and that is the truth of it.. and honestly when things dont change for weeks on end.. there is only so much i can talk about before i bore myself.. of come off as a whiny bitch that can even help herself..

i am not used to being like this.. i am not used to being "helpless".. i am used to being strong and helping those who arent to be stronger.. i am not used to being in a position to ask for help.. and before i know it people think i hate them or dont want to talk to them.. and the truth of the matter is i really dont know what to say any more..

not even my family has an idea of how bad this actually got this year.. i knew it was bad when i could barely muster to strength to get out of bed and shower.. i am beginning to feel better however iknow i need answers still so its not over yet..

i hate the idea of being medicated but i think at this point if i dont do it .. its gonna end badly.. and i dont want that any more than the next person.. this is the hardest thing for me.. to admit i cant kick this in the ass and drive on.. i hate needing something to make me "normal" i HATE the idea but its gonna have to happen.. because i cant do another winter like this .. i have already lost enough i cant lose any more because of this..

anyway.. really i am going to try to be better..

tomorrow is my first big ride of the season with my "boys" i will have pictures and all kinds of stuff to say tomorrow.. for now ..just keep me in your thoughts .. i need all the help i can get

Remiss

2007-11-15T00:11:00.000-05:00

I realise i still need to catch up Egypt..

i have had the busiest summer i think i have ever lived thru

i have been to 5 NASCAR races.. 3 bike rallies.. several rides.. several side trips..

tackled a little skin cancer in my head..

trying to beat what seems to be a thyroid problem at the moment

i am so tired lately i am having problems functioning.. on the days i do have energy i try to do as much as i can.. then i pay for it three days after by being beyond tired..

so in being tired it makes me depressed that i cant get all i need done .. done.. its a vicious circle and right now i just feel like checking out.. not seriously .. but there are days i just wanna hide in my bed and not get up.. and honestly there are days i do

so there you so.. what a great whiny post to start posting again with ..

but maybe it can be understood there are days i barely have the strength to take a shower.. typing is even a chore..

i am not mad at any one.. sometimes i just need to turn the world off..

not trying to now just trying to explain..

so bear with me.. i am gonna try to finish egypt.. fill you in on the races.. and my other trips ..

til then hang tight please..

Unknown Things About Me

2007-05-03T13:07:00.000-05:00

i have been tagged.. and yes .. i have been absent.. sorry guys.. its spring !! i am in my yard and riding my bike.. and i promise i will be around a little bit more !!!

gah.. i still have to finish my egypt travels.. and i just have been really busy and havent done it.. so anyway

i have to list 7 things you may not know about me.. which is hard.. since.. well.. i am a fairly open book...so lets see .. 7 things you dont know aobut me and wont mentally scar you for life if i did tell ..

1. i LOVE the grinch.. i think there are a few of you that do know i have this thing for the grinch.. but i mean i love him so much.. once my upstairs rennovations are done.. i am making a whole grinch room.. seriously ..

2. i LOVE shoes.. yes i think some of you also know this but not to the extent.. of which it really runs... i conservatively have .. 100 pairs of shoes.. and another 125 pairs of boots ..

3. i have problems asking for help.. i will be in SO far over my head with a project.. or something like that .. and wont ask for help until its so late in the game no one can help me .. lol.. (its that independant i have to do every thing for myself thing and it bites me in the ass ALOT)

4. i am secretly in love with Craig Ferguson.. i just know he is my next boyfriend.. he just doesnt know it yet.. its that combination of accent and intelligence.. i love it .. and his humour is a smart humour that i LOVE...

5. i wake up in the middle of the night wanting cookies .. ALOT.. and sometimes i will get up and have cookies and milk at 3 am .. i know.. i should just go back to sleep.. but when you are dreaming about cookies.. you have to eat them right ?

6. i have struggled with my weight most of my life..and i have finally gotten to a point where i love myself as i am .. i am not killing myself to lose weight or be on this or that diet.. however.. i do believe in health at any size.. i lead a healthy lifestyle .. eat well.. (except for those cookies ) and try to do what is best for me .. in this process if i happen to lose a few pounds bully for me right ?

7. i let very few people past a certain point of my life/personality/ emotional state for fear of being so hurt by these people that i may not ever recover.. i have a few close friends and a handful of people that get let in all the way.. i suppose this is why most ppl who think they know me think i am a bitch .. when that is so far from the truth .. its not even funny ...but honestly would prefer them to think that instead of wanting to be closer

there you are .. some of my not so secrets

i tag

Burfica

Opie

Alekx

Lani (if she ever is home long enough LOL)

Stacey

now play nice and do it .. you know i usually dont do this stuff to you guys.. but well i felt i needed to .. have a great day !!

Luxor Temple

2007-03-25T19:06:00.000-05:00

this is the way to Luxor temple.. or might i say temple complex.. this is our first stop in the worshipping a god temple.. the one the day before was for a pharoh.. not gods.. so let me tell you a little bit about this temple complex.. temples were routinely added on to by the ruler of the day .. this complex i do believe was about a dozen temples together.. there were many interesting things to be seen here ...also .. the nile used to flood and deposit silt and then re flood and take it away .. sometimes this could take years between .. so this temple complex was very interesting in that there were actually mosques built on top of parts of this temple because people were unaware there was actually MORE underneath.. so when we had our tour these mosques were about 25 to 30 foot in the air.. they looked out of place in the context we saw them in but of course when they were built they were steeet level.. i think i am getting ahead of myself .. but file these thoughts..

typically the the outside entrance to the temple had a pilon in front.. that is the two high walls you see.. and usually there was an oblesik of some sort as well .. temples were actually built from the back forward .. the pilon being the last thing erected.. and the holiest of rooms where they kept the statues of the gods they were worshipping were built first..

this is the pilon as the sun was going down.. they lighted the temple nicely for night.. as the sun went down the shots got more interesting...

as we entered the temple .. if you looked to the left you saw this avenue of sphinxes.. this avenue at one time connected the temple at luxor and the temple of karnak.. i do believe our guide said this would have been about a mile of sphinxes.. on each side of the road..

here is another shot as the sun was going down

as we entered the temple we were met with a room of columns which was typical of all temples of this time .. about 3000 years ago .. maybe a little less..

there were of course a few of these "columned rooms" in this temple because we were on a complex.. each temple had its own..

another interesting thing about this temple and most others is.. when the nile would flood.. it would deposit silt in these places and stay there for years and years and years.. and because of this.. the floors were raised many feet above the real floor..sometimes 20 or 30.. so new things were built on top of the temples because they were really unaware of every thing underneath.. this mosque is a prime example of this.. there were also graffitis left on the columns that support this.. these are carved high in the columns.. and of course when the nile flooded after all those years.. it washed the silt floor back away leaving these things high in the air ..

also later when the religion of the ancient egyptians was abandoned.. the christians would take these temples and use them as churches.. as a result.. you can see some of the frescoes they put over the ancient glyphs.. and carvings.. and these frescoes served double duty.. they depicted christian scenes but also preserved what was underneath..

so on the way back to the boat .. we passed many cute shops like this .. some designer.. like the gucci you see... in the foreground.. some jewelers .. etc..these were the hassle free fixed price shops .. and after a long day it was nice not to have to haggle for anything.. we bought some water .. and i bought a Stella beer.. i had to try it since it was brewed in egypt.. it was a half liter beer and fairly good.. it had a kind of heinekein-y taste but lighter.. also on the way back we saw.. a small two lane bowling alley and of course we had to stop and take pictures.. it was only two little lanes but really nice ..

so needless to say when we finally hit the boat at about 10.30...after a little bit of shopping and all that sight seeing.. i went up on the top deck.. drank my beer. and did some crocheting.. jessica went to the room and passed out.. after my beer and some nice night air i did the same.. we had Karnak the next day .. and out of all the places we went .. the enormity of this place amazed me.. more on that later ..

Luxor.. Egypt

2007-03-22T17:29:00.000-05:00

So .. we got to Luxor.. and thru the airport with out much of a hitch.. this one was fairly easy since it was a domestic flight.. we gathered our bags.. and they were taken to th ebus for us to be dropped off at the boat while we took our tour for the day .. this was to be a jam packed day .. a VERY jam packed day ..

we were starting with the west bank of the nile and going to end on the east bank and back at the boat.. we had the valley of the queens .. the valley of the kings.. the Temple of Queen Hatshepsut...a stop at the alabaster factory .. a crazy ferry ride over to the boat and finally the temple at Luxor.. it was a tiring but informational day ..

the west bank of the nile is all about the dead.. there are tombs and temples to the dead there.. the east side was for the living with the temples for the gods there and places to worship.. its is also where most of the people at Luxor live.. another quick fact.. Luxor was Thebes many many hundreds of years ago.. and was renamed Luxor..

so here we start at the valley of the Queens.. this is where the Queens of egypt were buried .. in tombs .. AFTER the use of pyramids became obsolete.. this was about 3000 years ago.. these tombs .. which we were not allowed any pictures .. still had fairly vivid colour on the walls.. they were naturally devoid of anything of value because that was all either taken out and taken to the Egyptian museum .. or had been robbed out of the graves at the point they were rediscovered under the sands of the desert ..

these pictures were views in the valley .. there were also smaller miscellaneous graves scattered along the sides of the valley ..

we had made friends quickly with a nice woman named victoria .. we would take pictures of Me and Jessica and we would take pictures of her .. it was a nice exchange and a good way to get a few pictures together

on the way back down from these tombs .. jessica needed to use the rest room and on the way up we had noticed a small white trailer type thing sitting in an area to itself.. to me it looked like a small semi trailer .. when in fact.. it was the restroom.. so Jessica got the pleasure of paying the attendant an egyptian pound for some toilet paper and using it ..

we headed back down from the valley of the queens and on to the bus again to make our way to the valley of the kings.. of course the tombs here were bigger and more elaborate than the ones we had just seen .. and as usual .. no pictures could be taken inside the tombs.. our guide had actually worked on a couple of these tombs when they were rediscovered.. she was very interesting and very informative.. this is where king tuts tomb was.. but we werent paying the extra 100 pounds to go in.. hanan had informed us all the good stuff was in the Egyptian museum and we would get to see all of that when we got back to Cairo .. on our last day .. we did however stand beside the tomb entrance for a photo op...

we had ridden a tram up .. and there was also a great view from up there.. so here are pictures from the bottom and the top.. i cannot tell you how amazing it was to walk down in these tombs and see the vividness of the colours still there after 3000 years..

also a new discovery in the valley .. they had recently found where the tomb of Ramses connected to the tombs of his sons creating a maze of tombs.. more than 100 connected tombs.. it was amazing..

i am trying to make this not so lengthy but there is so much to say .. we departed the valley of the kings.. back on the bus to the Temple of Queen Hatshepsut..this queen diguised herself as a man to be pharoh.. this queen was brazen .. this temple was carved out of the side of the mountain.. it had reliefs showing how she brought many plants and trees and flowers to the deserts of egypt from Punta land (somalia of today) .. this place was incredible..

here are pictures of the face of the temple and some detail

we had walked up with Victoria and she snapped a shot of Jessica Horus and me..

we walked back down .. and i have to say outside every temple or tourist place there were shops.. and some of the shop keepers were more agressive than others trying to sell their goods.. always up for a good barter etc.. some days it was overwhelming.. the first place we stopped at the valley of the queens i think was the most surprising to all of us because it was the first stop and first place we encountered this behaviour..

so we departed the temple.. after i had held up the bus.. because one of the shop keepers just didnt want me to leave his booth .. i think it was the blue eyes and fair skin .. but Jessica and i got fawned over most of the trip.. and we were given many things for being different.. we were often called the Queen and the Princess.. i am sure this is common practice and we really werent that special.. it just seemed so while we were in the moment..

we headed to the alabaster factory .. here is where they showed us the difference between hand carved alabaster and machine tooled alabaster

the take a "blank" and make a general shape. .. then its drilled.. and then handed to the last guy to smooth out and make the object it was meant to be ..

and every where we went there was tea.. we didnt buy any alabaster but it sure was interesting watching the things being made and seeing the process.. we sat and had tea while our other tour companions shopped..

after the alabaster factory .. we headed back toward the river to our ferry to get us to our boat.. are you out of breath yet ? .. i know we were tired.. we got on this boat.. that was fairly large but had a smallish out board motor and i had doubts we were going to get across the river in that boat .. we did make it but it was slowly ..

once we got on the boat .. it took us about ten minutes to cross the river.. once on the other side we got to our boat.. where our bags awaited us outside of our room .. and we got to have some lunch/dinner.. man i was hungry at this point .. we had been going since 2 am .. and had a breakfast box leaving the hotel.. and finally something on the boat.. after the meal and a little rest we were to head out to the Luxor temple..

i will leave that installment for later.. this one seems to have run long enough .. and this temple probably should have its own entry .. there are alot of pictures and MUCH more to say ..

Egypt.. the first couple days

2007-03-21T12:29:00.000-05:00

ok i think i have my pictures uploaded and ready and thought i would start with the first couple days of the trip

*please note.. all pictures are clickable*

i stayed up all night the night before to try to get acclimated to the time and suffer little jet lag.. so i took off from my house at 8 am to pick up Jessica ..it was overcast and drizzly.. but our spirits were high .. we crammed the bags in the car ..hit burger king and got to the airport..

nice and early .. found a nice parking spot for the days we would be gone ...headed in checked in and was at the gate in time for our 11.20 departure.. it went down hill from there.. our flight was two hours late.. great.. but ok .. because i had given us a 4 hour window between flights for this very reason .. every thing was gonna be ok ..

so since we were early .. we had a whole three hours to wait before out flight would take off.. Jessica stretched out for a nap.. and i broke out some knitting.. a little mitre square cotton blanket i am still working on really .. so..

our flight takes off and things are looking good.. they tell us the made up time in the air and we would be in NYC by 4.30.. this is nice because our flight for egypt was leaving at 6.30.. not nervous.. things were going to work out..

so we get toward JFK and were told we were in holding.. we werent landing for another hour.. ok.. time to start sweating..that would be landing at 5.30 and trying to get thru security .. and to our flight in just under an hour..

landing went fine.. luggage claim fine.. air train took us to our terminal in 45 seconds.. get to the check in counter no one there .. SCORE.. !!! quick check in .. yess.. we head toward the counter to be told its closed..

WTF?! oh HELL no.. !! i have a ticket for a flight that is not leaving for another 50 minutes .. i am getting checked in and we are gonna be on that plane.. i explain we were here just in the air.. not my fault our plane cut it this short because we were circling.. so they let us check in .. and dont you know there were ppl even later than us that were allowed to check in .. so we are on the plane and ready for our 9 and a half hour flight..

so we settle in .. Jessica pops her dramamine.. we have dinner and she knocks off.. as soon as we take off i set my clock to cairo time .. and relax.. gonna have a little nap.. NOT.. two screaming babies kept up our section of the plane for the next 6 hours.. i got a little nap right after breakfast.. but it was only about an hour and a half.. oh well.. Jessica slept .. and i am a trooper .. i can take it..

we got to cairo.. finally.. and we had a liason there to help us to get our visa .. money changed.. and thru immigration .. and also to get our bags and help us to our bus..

this was the scene at the airport..

it was crazy...

we got to our bus and started toward our hotel picking up Bill our tour coordinator along the way .. this is the person that made sure our reservations were right.. our tickets were taken care of .. our hotel was right.. meals were as they were supposed to be .. etc.. somehow along the way i didn t get a picture of him...

we got to the hotel

it was really nice.. and we were set free for the rest of the night.. Jessica and I took it upon ourselves to hit cairo... have some dinner.. shop and have a camel ride.. it was a nice night .. and we got in rather late.. 10.30 .. considering we had to get up at 2.30 am for a flight to luxor

those are the view right outside our hotel.. we had just come out and walked maybe 50 feet down the street before taking the pictures.. it was nice.. we were on the hunt for food..

what we found was a taxi driver willing to take us to a resturant and to some shops .. and stay with us all evening.. that was a nice gesture.. he was a nice man.. he took us to a small cafe where we had kabob.. i had lamb jessica had beef.. it was really good.. we went on to a papyrus place.. oil factory .. a small shop that sold many different things.. to a jeweler to get cartouches .. and there is where we had our camel ride .. it was interesting to say the least.. please meet Michael.. the camel.. Jessica nick named him Michael Pizalut ( sounds like pees alot) because well .. that is what he did .. poor thing was slightly behind me on the horse.. and she said Michael relieved himself at least three times during the ride.. which lasted almost an hour..

we finished our camel ride and headed back to the hotel.. we stopped for water.. and then.. i shoudl have known it was too good to be true the taxi driver gouged me for twice what he asked before.. i should have just said no.. but on hindsight.. it wasnt a bad price even at twice and we had an adventure to say the least..

so we had that 2.30 wake up so we could make our way to the airport to get us to luxor to catch the boat.. we decided at this point to take daily self portraits.. this was taken as we were on the plane and about to take off

i think we look a little rock starish .. lol.. i will leave you with our arrival at luxor ... the airport was interesting to say the least..

You Know What I Love ?

2007-03-15T14:39:00.000-05:00

i love when people think they know you .. find bits and pieces of info here and there and piece together a puzzle in their head.. take what they think they know as truth with out ever asking me a single damned question.. that is what i love..

i love assumptions .. and innuendo.. and gossip.. its all my favourite.. good god.. if anyone thinks they know me.. or has the need to know me or anyone they think i may be associated with in my life.. all you have to do is ask .. instead of being .. or trying to be sneaky and gathing bits of info that may or may not be right or true..

what i really wanna know is what the hell happened in the 8 fucking days i was gone.. apparently half the people in my life ate stupid pills or something because i came home to virtual chaos.. i think the fuck up fairy paid every one a visit and they chose to believe what ever was handed them ..

Hi Honey!!!

2007-03-09T02:50:00.000-05:00

I'm home !! its been a wonderful amazing incredible trip.. but it does feel good to be in my bed .. with my pillows and able to drink the tap water again ..

lots of picture filled posts to follow in the next few days.. between Jessica and myself we took over 500..

so be prepared..

soo.. ok.. who missed me ???

Off To Egypt

2007-03-01T07:04:00.000-05:00

see you guys in 8 days..

have a great week

Pink and Sparkles

2007-02-26T13:51:00.000-05:00

pink and sparkles are ok if you are like under 12 .. or look like a barbie in real time.. i am neither of those things so i am sure you can imagine my utter and total disgust at the new clothing being put out by Harley this season .. sure if you are a barbie doll that sits on the back of a bike.. you are allowed pink and sparkles.. if however you dont happen to be a barbie nor do you sit on back.. i think its a little much .. i would say the majority of the spring stuff for women at the dealer had some sort of sparkle to it .. glitter.. crystals.. rhinestones.. metallic thread.. etc.. and a good bit was pink and/or purple pink.. gag me.. i know i am not the run of the mill girl type.. pink has never been one of my favourite colours.. i will wear it now and again .. but wouldnt be my first choice ... and sparkles.. PUH-LEESE.. i think i liked sparkles for like 10 minutes when i was 8.. i was informed by one sales lady that sparkles were making a come back! no in this girls closet..

i just think there was an over kill of it .... i was at not one but two dealers this past week .. i guess this out look is also tempered by the fact that i dont understand fringe or tassles.. not on clothing anyway .. and especially not on leather..

also lets note.. i tried on not one but five different jackets.. and NONE of them would zip up over by boobies with out having to squish them .. HELLO? for fucks sake harley .. if i am wearing an XL .. that probably means i have boobies that are XL also .. come on .. cut me a damned break.. i was ready and willing to spend some money in your store.. and came out with a couple t shirts .. and that was it..

that is the exact reason i went some where else for my jacket and chaps.. cause lets face it harley .. your chaps.. for women.. umm too boxy and androgynous looking.. pair that with a jacket that smashes my boobies almost flat.. and you get that look that no one knows if you are man or woman going down the road.. i am not asking for a fashion show.. nor am i huge girly girl but i DO want people to KNOW what gender i am .. is that too much to ask.. and NO the answer is NOT to make your boxy shit in pink.. the answer is to listen to your women customers and DO something about it..

cause get this .. harley.. women are more likely to spend the money on the stuff than men are.. men will buy one t shirt and if women like the looks enough they will leave with 3.. so i think you guys need to smarten up .. !!!

Getting It Together

2007-02-25T13:21:00.000-05:00

its all coming together.. passports in hand.. new luggage.. packing started.. tickets to NYC.. arrangements made to get to and fromthe airport etc.. its coming together and becoming real.. in 4 days we will be IN egypt.. i really cant wait.. this is a trip of a life time and i am sure we will have the time of our lives..

jessica and i are also planning a little joint garden venture this year too.. that will be fun.. i want to put out a small garden this year.. i have missed fresh vegetables.. and canning .. and making things.. and growing things.. i love the thought of being a producer.. i am hoping one day this week will be clear enough i can get my apple trees pruned .. they need it really bad..

i have so much to do .. and some days i cant seem motivated to do it .. i have to get this stuff done.. i have a laundry list of things.. so maybe this trip will recharge me enough to get my ass in gear to get all this stuff done and finished up .. that will be nice.. i need a little recharging and energy .. of course i know some of this could be taken care of with my eating habits.. since i have let them go by the wayside.. and i need to get them back on track.. that is for sure.. i have to get myself back on a schedule and get some things rocking ...

spring always fills me with hope and energy.. and i cant wait for it to get here in full force.. i have several projects around the house that need done and i cant wait for it to get warm enough to do so .. the joys of old house living.. i dont heat the whole thing in winter so when its cold here .. its COLD.. lol.. at any rate.. its time for me to get off my ass and get my day going.. the race is at 3.. so i need to get some stuff done before it starts .. cause well .. i am gonna watch it .. i am so glad racing is back.. i have missed it alot !!!

Egypt Egypt

2007-02-16T02:25:00.000-05:00

plans are final and we board the plane march 1st.. we will be back the 9th.. i am beside myself .. Jessica and I have been thinking about this for a year.. and now its reality..

it will become more real once those passports hit my doorstep monday or tuesday and the final schedule is sent.. the flight from here to NYC has been booked.. luggage has been bought and planning has taken place.. its kind of like a dream ..and of course wont be totally real to me until we board that plane on the 1st..

jessica is as excited as i am .. we are gonna have a great time.. its been an adventure looking up rules and restrictions.. 62 inches is the bag limit 45 inches for carry on.. and of course 70 pounds weight limit .. but damn i dont think i will need 9 pounds of crap for every day i am there.. surely that should be non issue right?

maybe i will pack an extra bag to bring the souveniers back .. because i really only wanted to take one large bag.. we shall see how it all works out i should have all my packing done and ready to go by the middle of next week .. iknow its crazy i am all organized.. but this is jsut two weeks away and i have to have a plan .. i am trying to be better

i do have to say i was surprised yesterday when i got the most sublime flowers ever.. i dont have a pic but let me jsut say .. 12 deep red roses.. 6 white calla lilies .. eucalyptus all in a silver champagne bucket how nice !!!

i spent the evening in .. it was cold as all get out here.. had chili dogs and tater tots.. how comforting LOL.. i have been feeling a little icky today .. tired.. slept most of the day .. have a little cough and a little soreness of the throat...been drinking tea .. and taking a bit of thera flu.. so.. hopefully i have kicked it before it got a hold of me too badly and if not .. hot toddys tomorrow LOL

Random Thoughts

2007-02-10T02:57:00.000-05:00

just me .. late at night with alot of random thoughts..

i dont know how many people will agree or disagree with the things i am about to say .. but you know these are things i think about .. and /or believe..

i really think monogamy is overrated.. i think honesty should be the greatest factor in a relationship.. maybe some day i will find the man that changes my mind about this but ... i am unsure that will ever happen.. all iknow is as long as you are honest with all the people you are involved with and they can deal wtih it then why tie yourself to just one person when its against the nature of man anyway ... (oh yeah i can see the comments i am gonna get now )

and i want to know if i am such a wonderful person.. why am i sitting here alone .. on friday .. or any day for that matter

i want to know what the hell happened to manners.. tonight i encountered exactly 7 rude children in the span of a half hour.. what has happened to being a parent and being responsible..

also.. why do we pander to those that get "offended" at every thing.. cause seriously .. this is America.. freedom of speech .. i have th e freedom to say things you dont like.. and you have the freedom to say things i might not necessarily like.. you should be glad we have these freedoms instead of complaining about every thing that "offends" you

i am also tired of every one feeling sorry for the "darwins" of this world that eliminate themselves.. if you are so stupid that you use drugs and od.. or you drive with out a seat belt.. or wanna speed down the road with no helmet and hit a tree and die.. well DUH!... think about what you are doing.. and dont sit there and try to over think it or say "oh lets make a law to make that illegal" because its not the motorcycle or the car or even the drugs that killed them .. it was their decision to do these things..

i firmly believe the gene pool is getting weaker and weaker because we allow weaker and weaker people to contribute to it.. at what point do we say .. maybe we shouldnt take this step in keeping some one alive.. seriously .. natural selection doesnt work any more .. because we have a fix for every thing and in turn for that we keep people alive that might not need to be .. ( more nasty comments coming i am sure )

i am feeling very controversial tonight .. can you tell LOL

anyway these are the things that have been wandering aimlessly thru my head thought i might ought to get them out ..

have a nice day !!

Valentine Ball

2007-02-04T23:23:00.000-05:00

SO .. there i was .. no plans for the weekend (mine fell through actually) so my sister calls me and asks what i am doing for saturday night.. i say nothing why .. and she is like.. well vince (her fiancee) is out of town and we had tickets to a Valentine Ball .. why dont you come with ?

sure.. i just need an excuse to buy a new pair of shoes and go out drinking and dancing..

we really had a good time.. we laughed we danced.. we drank..

here are a few pics of us all dolled up .. and one with my sisters friend Will..

i LOVE green

2007-02-03T18:48:00.000-05:00

i dont know how much closer to me this could have been .. how odd..

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

So There I Was

2007-01-28T03:28:00.000-05:00

minding my own business ....shopping for crap i really didnt need.. how is it that happens.. you go in for pet food and a couple gift bags and the next thing you know you spent 200 dollars .. gah..

i digress.. there i was minding my own business buying so predators sleep pants when i turned the corner and was horrified.. looking straight at me .. SWIMSUITS...

what the fuck? over..

its JANUARY the 27th.. just barely more than a month since we all spent two months of holiday eating and now swimsuits.. hello? who else is ready to slit their wrists at this moment?... ok that is a little drastic.. but DAMN.. i am still in shock.. can you tell .. ??? whatever.. i am not killing myself to get into "swimsuit" shape.. cause well.. that would take about three years.. oh well .. just a warning to all you unsuspecting shoppers out there ..

2007-01-27T18:17:00.001-05:00

ok so Kari got me ... GAH!

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

wow i have to narrow it to 6.... i guess i should pick the best 6 weird things about me.. and if i leave any out i am sure some one will be glad to tell me i picked the wrong one to tell you guys

1. I have this thing about my food.. i dont like it to touch and i eat one thing at a time.. and just when i think you arent looking i actually turn my plate so the one thing i am eating is in front of me.. there is a system too .. i eat my starch first.. my vegetable next.. and the meat last..

2. i am an ok housekeeper not real meticulous but i have my yarn organized by fibre and colour.. i wish i could be this anal about my house

3. I have to always be busy.. If i am not working on a project I am on line doing something or if i am just sitting watching TV .. i am spinning my ring on my finger or twiddling with something.. i do this especially when i am sitting in a resturant and i have straw wrapper paper .. i twist it into weird shapes

4. I am ocd about my computer surfing.. when i get ready to turn off my computer i have to make sure i have no new email and no new blogs to read.. i have to check my forums to make sure there are no new posts .. and once that is established i can sign off..

5. I have this thing where i dont like doing something if i am not good at it.. and if i cant be good at something in a timely manner i give up on it.. i feel if i were meant to be good at something or i had a natual talent it shouldnt take too long to get the hang of it.. so .. if i am not immediately good at something i will quit it ..

6. believe it or not .. i dont always like being social.. *gasp* i know right? cause if you ever meet me .. i usually am non stop.. or we have non stop conversation .. but i can go days with out other human interaction and i am ok with that .. odd huh ?

so there are my 6 weird things i chose to reveal about me .. they shouldnt come as a surprise to a couple of you LOL

and i have to tag some people now

1. burfica... i know you can come up with 6 easy LOL

2. Opie.. cause.. well i can

3. Marvie... cause i love you so much !

4. Kel.. cause she always has neat stuff to say

5. Lani .. if she comes down from the clouds soon enough !!

6. Stacey umm cause i liek her work LOL

Birthday Booty

2007-01-23T21:24:00.000-05:00

and NO not that kind of booty.. although that would have been really nice.. i can think of a certain person i wouldnt have minded collecting that from though...

anyway ... heres the loot

i got these on saturday from my nice nice nice friend in NC

Kari.. i love you and David for the gift certificate from Elann....

i also recieved from my very funny niece a bottle of "gas be gone" for my dogs. ... how thoughtful huh ?

here we are waiting for lunch sunday ...

and a couple more of just me.. while we waited.. of course my mom hated my hat..she couldnt see my eyes... and the boots i had on were too tall ..whatev.. i looked cute..

i also recieved $100 bucks from mom even after the criticism..lol.. my sister gave me a movie.. but i already had it so i went to target and exchanged it for some Kid Rock.. Cocky baby!!...then after lunch on sunday .. my sisters fiancee's children were invited to a bowling party .. and she asked me if i wanted to come and practice.. so i did.. and that was fun too ..

yesterday i spent the day hanging with a friend.. we bowled.. my shoulder hurt today .. went to the harley shop to pick up gifts for the twins.. they will be 8 on saturday and had asked for harley gear.. and while we were there my friend kindly picked up a small coffee thermos for my saddle bag.. and a large harley mug for every morning use.. pics of that later my camera batteries died ... i bought the boys cute little matching shirts.. and of course one for me ...and yes picture later.. however its olive green thermal with tan tribal on it .. and of course cute as hell like me LOL.. man i am full of it today .. we went to dinner.. i had a couple chocolate martinis .. and then after i had a venti caramel macchiato with two extra shots.. woohooo

so ... tell me dear readers.. what should i spend my 100 bucks on ? i need suggestions !!!

Happy Birthday

2007-01-22T04:32:00.000-05:00

to me

i survived my lunch today ...

not sure about the rest..

my heart hurts..

more later

The Continuing Saga

2007-01-20T01:58:00.000-05:00

Me: Hi mom.. sorry i didnt call you yesterday was trying to decide where to go

Mom: that is ok ..

Me: Lets go to Old Chicago .. surely every one can find something they like there

Mom: That is fine .. what time do you want to go .. ?

Me: Jessica ( my niece) has to work at 4.. so why dont we try 1 so she can go

Mom: that will be good.. but i think Ronnie might go to his moms and not go with us ..

*banging head on desk wondering why we even had the Tandoor discusion if Ronnie probably would go in the first place *

No New Ink

2007-01-18T08:44:00.000-05:00

well i came home with no new ink last night.. i walked in.. i had called earlier and they werent real busy .. well for some reason.. on a wednesday night .. within and hour they booked.. damn the luck.. its ok though.. i wanted a specific person.. and i have an appt in february to get who i want to do what i want.. i am excited..

i am finally getting my swans.. here is a pic for those of you not in the know.. its clickable

and i am getting a small piece put on my neck..that is going to be a surprise.. but its nice..

i cant wait..

so get this.. my mom calls last night and asks me where i would like to go for dinner for my birthday it went down like this ...

Mom: Hey... I was just calling to see if we could make arrangements for your birthday dinner.. maybe sunday?

Me: Sounds good to me I am wide open

Mom: So where would you like to go.. make it some place nice.. cause i dont get to go out that often

Me: How about Tandoor.. its my favourite right now

Mom: What is Tandoor?

Me: Its Indian and its really good..

Mom: oh GOD no... we are not eating there

Me: OH, well i thought i got to pick cause it was my birthday

Mom: You do but Ronnie wouldnt like that (ronnie is my step dad)

Me: I wasnt aware it was Ronnie's birthday.. i thought it was mine

Mom: Dont be a smart ass..

Me: i wasnt trying to .. you asked me where i wanted to go.. and i told you.. and you said no..

Mom: Just think about it and call me tomorrow

Me: Fine..

why does this make me so crazy ?

Me Update

2007-01-17T14:04:00.000-05:00

For some of you this update will be cryptic at best.. i apologize in advance for this but you know there are some things in your life you just have to keep for you .. but the impact they have on you .. well you wanna share with the world..

so this weekend was one of those times.. it was amazing and fun and exciting... and showed me i could actually be selfless.. and as much as i know i could be if i wanted.. i suppose i should say i was inspired.. and it has made me want to be a better person period.. this is a good thing..

i also had a new experience this past weekend.. it was exciting.. fast.. hot and sexy *get your minds out of the gutter*... i was able to be a passenger on a v-rod instead of the driver.. it was NICE.. sadly no pictures... boohooo... maybe sometime again soon i can manage a couple

on the other hand.. the past two days have caught me sleeping lengthy periods of time and kind of down in the dumps for some unknown reason .. well i think i know what it is .. but you know its one of those things you know you have to pull yourself out of because if you dont .. well it could get ugly.. like yesterday not getting out of bed at all and not waking up til about 2.. that wasnt good.. today is shaping up a little better.. i am up .. gonna get showered.. and well gonna go get some new ink tonight..

pictures later..

have a great day every one !!

Send Help

2007-01-07T03:25:00.001-05:00

PLEASE... or at least a gas mask

my dogs AND cats.. are trying to kill me with invisible toxic gas!!

god they are rank..

that is all.. thank you ...

Hoppin John Foodie Friday

2007-01-05T14:59:00.000-05:00

Hoppin John with Pork

1 lb cubed pork

1 lb hot pork sausage ( i like hot italian sausage)

1 medium onion, diced

1 red bell pepper, chopped

1 green bell pepper, chopped

1 clove garlic, peeled and minced

1 cup to 1 1/2 cup cooked black eyed peas

1 cup to 1 1/2 cup cooked white rice

1 can red gold or rotel diced tomatoes with chilies

a little olive oil

cajun spice

in a heavy skillet brown sausage and pork cubes you can season the cubed pork with a little cajun spice if you like.... this is to seal in the juice.. you dont have to cook them thru they will be added to the other stuff later.. drain off drippings.

in a larger dutch oven type pot.. or soup pot.. heat some olive oil and sautee the onion til almost transluscent ..then add the garlic, and peppers and sautee a little bit more... then add the meat , black eyed peas, rice and tomatoes.. and a little more cajun spice to taste.. let this simmer covered for 30 minutes... if you need a little more liquid add some water or broth ...

ladle into a bowl and serve with a hard crusty roll... enjoy!!

Full Moon

2007-01-03T20:48:00.000-05:00

i hope every one is enjoying the first full moon of the year .. the Full Wolf Moon!!

its clear and beautiful here..

so if you havent seen it .. get off your ass and go look!! its gorgeous .. i promise !!

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T17:21:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year every one!! I really mean it.. this past year has flown by me faster than i thought ever possible..

last night found me .. low key in bed.. with a kidney infection.. not whining just stating LOL.. i rang in the new year with some cranberry juice and alot of time to reflect.. and leave you all with this simple resolution i make for myself every year .. and challenge you to take it too .. its just this

i resolve to be the best person i can be every day

and what that means is doing your best day to day.. and that will change daily.. some days my best will be a mumbling evil bitch LOL.. and some days it will be a loving giving forgiving person .. all i can do is be the best i can every day .. and make no excuses for myself in that ..

and i leave you with the best wishes for your new year.. !!!

I Think I Have A Winner

2006-12-30T22:11:00.000-05:00

i reviewed the rules for the plate.. its 5 alpha or numeric symbols and a dash and/or space..

so i think i have a winner

V-BR8R

what do you think ?

lol

ummmDORK

2006-12-26T14:32:00.000-05:00

"Well I have leg cramps but not from that dammit"

i SAID.. lamps!!

not cramps

why would i wish any one cramps.. burfica.. you are KILLING me LOL but you know i love you anyway ..

He Looks Like

2006-12-25T14:02:00.000-05:00

a pink nightmare !!

can you tell what i am watching LOL TBS has had "A Christmas Story" running since 8/7central last night and will continue to do so til 8 tonight.. if you havent watched it yet .. you should .. i LOVE this movie..

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays whatever holiday you observe.. i hope you all have wonderful holidays.. mine have been relaxing and good.. i am just kicking back wth an eggnog latte waiting to go to my sisters for christmas dinner at 2...

i hope santa was good to all you good little boys and girls and even better to the naughty ones (that would be me and YES he was super nice this year)

the only thing that could have made this christmas better would have been a little company curled up with me last night.. and some snow...other than that .. it couldnt be much better...

here's wishing you a wonderful new year.. and leg lamps for every one !!

It's Beginning To ...

2006-12-14T05:42:00.000-05:00

look alot like christmas .. every where you go .. even my bedroom LOL

i am trying to get into christmas .. its taking a bit this year.. so here are the extent of my decorations.. its fun i think .. i wish i could find my tripod.. i could have gotten the "glow" you cant see because i needed no flash and the shutter to stay open a long time.. and of course .. i cant hold the camera still that long..

anyway .. enjoy!

A Little Help Please?

2006-12-13T02:49:00.000-05:00

so.. i was thinking today.. i know a dangerous thing for me to be doing LOL.. as i was coming home from the grocery store (yes Kari .. i finally went LOL) that i wanted a personalized tag for Varick..

so if you will.. please submit any and all suggestions in my comment area.. there might be some sort of prize involved.. not sure yet.. at any rate can only be 6 letters/numbers and/or spaces ..i will have a vote of the top say five.. if i get that many and go from there how does that sound ?

lets see what you creative geniuses can come up with

this is my short list so far maybe you guys can come up with something i like better

CTCHME

GRLPWR

VARICK

SPEEDV

VGIRL

1HOTV

ok guys hit me with your best shot !

thanks !!

Blah and a gift

2006-12-12T00:25:00.000-05:00

today i have the remnants of a lingering headache.. somehow .. i got rid of most of it last night/early this morning .. but this evening .. damn it came back with a vengance .. now its almost gone again.. i know i know i know.. staring at this screen isnt helping either but that hasnt been the cause .. i wore the wrong perfume.. and now i am paying.. how sad..

on another fucked up note.. i bought THESE boots from ebay .. i have always had good luck with ebay .. i also bought another pair of boots from this same seller that was perfect.. however.. this pair.. when i recieved them .. one was new and one had definate wear..it was very obvious it was not new.. and the pair had been advertised new with out box.. so .. i contact the seller.. it seemed all was gonna be ok .. i sent the worn boot back and awaited my return boot.. she said she had a new one she could send me that is all i had to do ..

do fast forward.. today i realized its been a month and i had not heard from her.. she didnt let me know she even got the boot i sent back so i emailed.. and she tried to turn this all back on me saying she had my boot but didnt know where it came from.. what a FUCKTARD...she had my address.. and if she was any kind of seller she could have figured out where this mysterious boot came from... she said i didnt send the info she asked for with the boot.. hello? she didnt ask for any info she jsut said send it back she would replace it..

so you can imagine my disbelief.. when i sent this email today :

you have had a month to resolve this.. i think i have been more than patient.. please advise on the status of my exchage..

thank you

and i got this reply:

more information please, especially after a month. what is the item number and problem?

then of course by this point i was assed up.. and sent this :

you are kidding me right?

i bought two pair of boots from you '..one pair was great .. the other was half great because i recieved a very used boot that was sold to me as new.. you agreed to exchange it.. i sent the boot on november 8th .. and now its december 11th and i still only have one usable boot in my posession...i either want my other boot ASAP or i want my money back.. period.. this is a ridiculous amount of time to wait for a resolution to a problem you said you would fix as soon as you recieved my boot..

so this is what she had to say back :

right. with your returned boot there was NONE of the information that i ask for when a return is received, i have been waiting for you to email me.I do not see what is wrong with this boot however i will refund your money,just send the second boot back so that i can relist them, i do not haveanother pair. with your return please write on a piece of paper the item number,date that they were paid, reason for return and your email address.

ok first off she didnt ASK for anything in that email when she said return the boot did she? is it hidden in some weird language between the letters she wrote there?was i supposed to decode the message when she simply told me to send the boot back and she would replace it ?

ok so here is what i had to say back cause by this point i was burning:

i am sorry you cant see the obvious wear on that boot when you get the other one back you will see there is a scratch on the front of the one i sent and about 1/8" of the rubber missing off the sole of heel of the boot..its obviously been worn .. .. and you didnt ask me for ANY information when i returned said boot.. you just asked me to send it back and you had another boot to send me straight back and i have sat here waiting... as amatter of fact i DID email you the day i sent the boot back to you telling you it was on the way ..i didnt recieve any indication that you had even recieved the boot

so i guess your business practice is to let your customer deal with whats wrong and had i not said a thing you would have sat there in your laziness and not looked up where the boot came from or who bought it.. and kept myboot and my money .. leaving me with one boot i cant wear with out a match..

incredible

i will be SURE to giveyou all the info you asked for this time.. had i known i would have had to return the other boot .. i would have just sent the pair to begin with and saved myself soem shipping ...so now i am out shipping for two boots . and still have NO BOOTS.. ..you assured me you had another you would gladly replace mine with..trust me i will not send my friends your way nor will i ever buy another item from you

and let me tell you all i took pics of these boots.. they are on my PC i happen to be on my laptop at the moment.. but Kari saw them and she is my witness.. this boot looked like it had been walked in about 20 miles.. no joke.. there was NO DOUBT it was a used boot.. and to be fair.. i even gave her the option in giving me a partial return because i would have bought the boots even used.. i just hated the fact she tried to pass off used boots as NEW.. and have me pay new price for them .. but she didnt wanna do that she said she could replace it and now wanted to turn it on me.. GAH.. ppl make me crazy..

on a really GOOD note though that has rekindled a little of my fate in mankind... this showed up on my door step.. as an early christmas gift from a really great guy who has asked to remain nameless.. needless to say he is a good friend and is there for me when i need him.. THANKS!! and it fits perfect.. and of course the pics dont do it justice.. i will have to take some once i wash it and wear it again

One Word

2006-12-02T04:59:00.000-05:00

i snagged this from some where i cant remember ..

thought it would be a challenge to me since i usually have alot more than one word to say at any given time

You. Can. Only. Type. One. Word. No. Explanations.

1. Yourself: Sexy

2. Your spouse: none

3. Your hair: long

4. Your mother: trying

5. Your father: whipped

6. Your dream last night: vivid

7. Your favorite drink: water

8. Your dream car: vintage

9. Your bedroom: new

10. Your fear: clowns

11. What you want to be in 10 years: settled

12. Who you hung out with last night: mystery

13. What you’re not: stupid

14. Muffins: lemon

15. Time: morning

16. The last thing you did: bowling

17. What you are wearing: nothing

18. Your favorite weather: fall

19. The last thing you ate: sandwich

20. Your life: great

21. Your mood: nice

22. Your best friend: Kari

23. What are you thinking about right now? sex

24. Your car: Mini

25. What are you doing at the moment? blogging

26. Your summer: hectic

27. Your relationship status: unsure

28. What is on your TV? nothing

29. What is the weather like? warm

30. When is the last time you laughed? today

A Recipe For A Night Of Fear

2006-12-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

I will confess.. there arent too many things that scare me.. but fuck if last nights storm didnt scare the bejeezus out of me ..

so here is the recipe..

one large temperature change (from 73 to 34 in about 4 hours)

tornado like winds

downed electric lines

one house burning down

rattling windows

five animals going crazy

and

no electricity most of the night..

so here is the deal .. we set temperature records with the high yesterday at 73..i decided i might need to go out last night to get some things cause i knew it was gonna drop and today was gonna be really cold... so the two hours i was out it dropped a full 10 degrees..and the rain started pissing down.. so i get home still not bad .. about 53 degrees..

then..the rain stopped and i thought..this isnt so bad.. but the wind picked up and i swear the widows sounded like they were gonna come out of the panes last night... the wind picked up and the temperature started to drop..and the rain came back for a little bit..

things were ok til the electricity went out.. so i am sitting here in candlelightlistening to thewind and rain with the dogs going crazy.. so they needed out so i got up to take them and i swear i felt like dorothy..i knew we were gonna be blown away.. so while i was out side i looked around a little .. trying to take in damage and i see smoke coming up over my neighbors house..

so i walked a little down the drive way .. and look across the stree.. a dawned electrical line as sparked "just right" and set the house on fire.. at the time i saw it .. it had started on the roof.. well our fire dept here is volunteer.. so every one was rousted out of bed but by the time they got there the roof was well under way.. and he lines were whipping around.. so the fire fighters couldnt get real close because of the lines and also the near 60 mph unpredictable winds blowing flames in wild directions.. they did what they could which wasnt much.. and this morning.. well only foundation and a little rubble left on the space that used to be a two story victorian similar to mine..

so i didnt sleep til about 6 am this morning.. and it still wasnt a sound one.. wind was still whipping and the electric had gone out again .. so as far as i can see the only real damage around here .. is the wind lifted the topper for th etruck off the ground and flipped it on its back.. and knocked my gnome over... and the garbage can.. iwill have to get on the roof in a few days when the wind is gone and its a little warmer..

so long story short.. i am ok .. every thing is ok.. but damn if mother nature isnt scary.. i have great respect for nature.. its unpredictable and all powerful

i hope you all have a great day and take the time to tell the ppl you love just how much they mean.. cause seriously you never know when the last time you get to talk to them will be ..

MeMe Pick Me !!

2006-11-30T01:50:00.000-05:00

thought this was a cool meme so i decided to participate.. i am usually not one to do every one that comes along but this one was well .. interesting to me.. i snagged it from Kari

RED

1. Closest red thing to you: my hand bag
2. Last thing to make you angry: stupid drivers
3. Do you have a temper: umm YEAH!
4. Are you a fan of romance: Yes....

ORANGE

1. Closest orange thing to you: a ball of wool-ease thick and quick
2. Do you like to burn things: yes i like fire !
3. Dress up for Halloween: not lately
4. Are you usually a warm-hearted person: to those that really know me .. yes.. to those that dont.. well they just think i am a bitch ALL the time.. lol
5. Do you have anything against redheaded people: No ..since i am one .. that would be silly to hate myself
6. Are you usually full of energy: sometimes.. but not always.. after about 2 double espressos i can be but it doesnt last long

YELLOW

1.Closest yellow thing:my sheets (they are really kind of gold)
2. The happiest time[s] of your life: Every day i wake up breathing
3. Favorite holiday: I dont really have a favourite
4. Are you a coward: umm NO
5. Do you burn or tan: burn in five minutes with out sunscreen

GREEN

1. Closest green thing to you? some balls of lime green mohair
2. Do you care about the environment: i do .. but i think i could do more to help.
3. Are you jealous of anyone right now: yes..
4. Are you a lucky person:sometimes but not always
5. Do you always want what you cant have: not always.. but sometimes
6. Do you like being outdoors: Yes..i like it alot
.7. Are you Irish: no i am American with an irish heritage

BLUE

1. Closest blue thing to you: my dansani water bottle
2. Are you good at calming people down: no but my friend Kari is
3. Do you like the sea: yes.. i LOVE the water
4. What was the last thing that made you cry: well it was a few days ago but i wont tell why that's just for me .. sorry
5. Are you a logical thinker: yes some days i wish i could turn it off
6. Can you sleep easily: depends.. most of the time yes but i am a light sleeper

PURPLE

1. Last purple thing you saw: the pillows on my bed
2. Like being treated to expensive things: i wish i could say no .. but yeah i do .. especially shoes
3. Do you like mysterious things: sometimes
4. Favorite type of chocolate:dark.. the darker the better..
5. Ever met anyone in royalty: no but i just went to the king of rock and roll's home in memphis
6. Are you creative: why yes i am

PINK

1. Closest pink thing to you: the sock monkey pants i have on
2. Do you like sweet things: yes way too much .. probably accounts for the reason i am not a size 10
3. Like play-fighting: no
4. Are you sensitive:only when i have let some one in close.. those are the ones that can hurt me the most
5. Do you like music: yes.. i love music

WHITE

1. Closest white thing to you: bath towel
2. Would you say you are innocent:not only no.. HELL NO
3. Good at keeping the peace: not so much.. i am trying to be better
4. Do you like to play in the snow: Yes..
5. Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentist: afraid no.. but not a big fan

BLACK

1. Closest black thing to you: my lap top bag
2. Ever enjoy hurting people:there was this one time.. but not so much on a regular basis
3. Are you sophisticated or silly: i like to think i am a silly sophisticate
4. Would you like to go to space: yes
5. Do you have a lot of secrets: i dont think i do but of course i do have some.. doesnt every one ?
6. What is your favorite color: hmm i would have to say lime green
7. Does the color you wear affect your mood: i think it does..

if you wanna do it .. snag it and go !!!

Oh.My.God

2006-11-28T13:08:00.000-05:00

its been a month.. a MONTH i tell you .. i cant believe its been a month since i posted last... its been a busy month.. actually three months am i am finally slowing down to a semi normal pace of life.. i think since september i have only spent one maybe two weekends at home and it seems i have been on a perpetual trip since sept.. man!!

Kari had to remind me i have been neglectful of my bog..

Kari: when are you gonna blog?

Me: oh soon .. when i slow down a little ..

Kari: Oh so the first of the year ?

Me: it hasnt been THAT long...

Kari: its kind of been like forever since you blogged

Me: really ? DAMN.. its been a month.. why didnt you say so ?

Kari:*banging head on desk*

needless to say i couldnt possibly tell you every thing i have been doing it would take way too long...however.. iwill try to get an "autumn in pictures" presentation together so you can see what i have been up to.. its just easier that way .. and now that i am slowing down i am going to try to mind my blogging duties better..

have a great day guys.. hope you had a great thanksgiving.. !!

Thank You

2006-10-27T13:22:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of you that made it possible for me to proudly write a check out to the Susan G Komen foundation for $3027 dollars last weekend..

I have been so incredibly busy .. i dont know which way is up .. once i slow down i might be able to catch up here..

i just wanted to give my sincerest thanks to all of you for making my donation possible..

Varick.. my new boyfriend

2006-10-17T19:25:00.000-05:00

he is strong and sleek.. and stylish and damned HOT..

he got here today .. about an hour ago..

and damn does he look good !!!

And This One Time At Yarn School.....

2006-10-17T17:01:00.000-05:00

i had to drive home in 14 hours of rain!!

but i had a great time .. it was a good time of learning.. dyeing ...cutting up.. and drinking of course !!

Kari and I are working on a page all about yarn school.. we have some pics to exchange and thigs to upload..and if you all cant tell.. i have been a little busy.. so more stuff soon !!

Ok I Did It

2006-10-03T22:49:00.000-05:00

I found transport for my bike with the people i wanted to transport it.. Ironhorse out of Wisconsin.. they were the most personal and nice people .. and transport in a way that makes me feel good.. i wont have to find a place for them to turn around cause they haul in like a truck that can actually pull in my drive if need be.. WOOHOOO.. so on their way to Biketoberfest in Daytona.. they are gonna swing by Mukwonago.. pick up my baby and bring him to me.. I have already named him too.. and yeah i know most ppl name their vehicles after girls..and call them she.. but quite frankly i like riding boys better.. take that and run with it as much as you like but .. that is the truth!! so anyway .. i named him Varick..

so.. today i also went and got my bedroom stuff.. i wanted to wait.. but you know what.. i just did it.. and decided to put off the kitchen for a little bit.. i have been really busy and i dont want to short circuit my poor little brain LOL.. so anyway .. i did it .. i went KING.. i am gonna feel like a princess in my new bed.. i got the bed.. a side table instead of the way too big nightstand....the dresser and mirror.. and the chest of drawers.. which i didnt think i was going to get but it had more storage room than the armoire.. and since i am putting the TV over the mantle i didnt need it to hide the TV.. so i went with the chest.. and i got a really cool ROUND chair.. its big enough to curl up in like a chaise.. but doesnt take up as much space.. so i have two days.. nothing like rushing myself huh ? .. to clean out my room and tear up the carpet.. i am sure i can do it.. how hard could it be?... there isnt too much in there anyway .. and once i clean the closets it should be smooth sailing.. cause i can get all the stuff i need in the closet and all the stuff that needs purged purged.. plus .. clean my shoes and get them organized into boxes.. woohoo.. i might even have time to do my curtains before the stuff gets here at 10 on friday .. i only have two windows in there so .. panels shouldnt take too much time.. i should be able to clean out the room and organize all my stuff tomorrow leaving thursday for sewing.. and its really not impairitive i get the curtains done before it gets here but it would be nice..

i just cant wait to have all that space to put stuff in LOL.. and i cant wait to roll around in all that space on my new bed !! my new mattresses are gonna SO nice.. ok can you tell i am excited !! heheh..i bought two new sets of sheets tonight.. and i also bought a duvet cover set last week.. so tomorrow i do need to go get king sized pillows and also euro size pillows.. oh wait.. i have some of those.. for stufing the shams.. and of course find a couple king sized pillows to sleep on .. so i am ready .. gonna wash the sheets and the blanket i bought .. and get every thing all ready to roll .. so when they get here friday .. all they have to do is come in and set my stuff up.. then i can make my bed .. and i might just get back in there and stay all day LOL.. ok i dont think i can ramble much longer about this so .. i am gonna go..

Pink For October

2006-10-02T16:59:00.000-05:00

I went as pink as i could.. cause i am really not a pink girl.. but i hope this passes muster !!

Less than three weeks to my walk guys.. make a donation if you can .. i am matching to 5K..

i am getting really excited about it!! and YARN SCHOOL.. its so gonna rock..

anyway short and sweet today .. more tomorrow..!!

oh yeah ..THANKS KARI..!!

The Odessy Continues

2006-09-25T21:34:00.000-05:00

So today i had a busy assed day .. really i did.. i was up at 7.45.. and on my way to get my new rims put on my car and be picked up by my sister at 9.. so .. we went back to her house where she has a small salon set up in her back bathroom and she did my hair today as we waited for my car to get done.. then we went to lunch.. i practice bowled.. did i mention i started a friday night league? my other sister got me into it i have my shoes and ball and stuff.. another story for another day .. so then i ran a couple more errands.. and finally got home about 6.30 tonight.. and damn if i am not tired.. so anyway

i left Sharon and her family on monday afternoon *sob sob* and headed to Appleton, WI for two days at a hotel.. a little shopping.. and a little rest til i get to Marquette, MI to my friend Traci.. who i have known since i was 14.. Appleton was nice.. i relaxed at the hotel.. did some shopping found a yarn store *gasp* and did a little knitting by the pool.. so wednesday morning i checked out and headed on up to the UP.. what a gorgeous drive !!! absolutely beautiful.. not that wisconsin wasnt pretty but the colours had started to change and i got to drive up the coast and see water for a bit of my drive.. I made it to Traci .. in decent time and you know.. i got there and it didnt seem like it had been 8 years since we had seen each other.. it was like we had never been apart.. that was nice.. i met her husband Hugh.. and her son Jason(11).. and saw Stephie(15) again for the first time since she was 3.. wow..

We got me checked into the hotel there.. which by the way ..l.looked scary on the outside but was quite nice on the inside.. my "suite" was as big as my first apartment.. actually i think it was bigger.. LOL.. the place i stayed was officer quarters at one point for a military base that was up there.. so it was nice.. and not expensive AT ALL.. i paid less than 60 bucks a night for an apartment ..and went to dinner at a nice lodge like place.. where we got to see deer graze as the sun went down out of the big expanse of windows across the back of the resturant

so then thursday and friday were spent getting ready for her reception.. Traci and Hugh had gone to San Antonio and gotten married the last weekend in August and from all reports.. i had MUCH better weather in Michigan than had i made the trip to texas.. it was really pretty up there and i was so glad i could help with the party preparation.. and among all this .. i taught her son to knit..

I had planned on leaving sunday but with all the prep for the party.. i decided to stay sunday and chill and wind down .. and that was really nice to just relax and be a slug all day with my friend.. who by the way informed me she was pregnant!! so i have already started some stuff and ordered some more yarn for ALL THE BABY stuff i am gonna get to make !! I am so excited...

they were also having an addition put on their house that was fantastic.. oh did i mention hugh is a taxidermist on the side.. i saw some animals in his work shop that were the stuff night mares are made of LOL.. and also saw some really nice stuff.. i saw a blue water buffalo that was actually really pretty .. and there was a buffalo in there with an afro .. but was the SOFTEST fur i have ever touched.. i need to see about getting some buffalo hair to spin..

i digress.. it was sad to go .. but i had to .. on monday .. i was going to try to make it all the way home .. 860 miles.. but it started raining on me the minute i hit wisconsin and it didnt quit til i hit chicago.. and no i didnt take the 294 aroudn this time LOL.. so i made it down thru chicago and i was beat .. so i stopped at about 11 got a room rested and headed the rest of the way home on tuesday .. so i was gone for 13 days.. i loved my trip.. but it really was good to be home and my babies missed me A BUNCH!!...

so there are some other exciting things i wanna share.. i bought and Ashford Joy while i was in West Bend with sharon.. it got here a couple days ago.. i have been so busy i havent gotten to play with it..

and then there is THIS no i havent gone insane.. i had been planning this for a while i just didnt think one this nice would fall into my lap.. ihave my helmet.. my jacket.. boots.. and my safety course all lined up .. and this baby should be at my house by the end of next week so i might have a few pretty days of riding .. before it gets really cold out..

so anyway .. i think i am almost caught up with every thing !!

Still Among The Living

2006-09-23T14:09:00.000-05:00

well i survived the tornado last night .. it was fairly near me and the storm was fantastic.. the lightning here was something to behold.. seriously .. it got a little scary.. so you can imagine i was a little scared last night as well.. i do infact have large trees in my front yard that could do damage if they were to fall on my house..

at any rate.. i realize i am way behind on blogging so i am going to TRY to catch up now.. with out pictures.. and then i will do a picture essay once i have the words caught up ..

sooo where to start.. on the way to Sharons..

so i started off from here at about 9 pm.. not a biggie .. cause i am so used to being up late.. my time line would have put me at sharon's at about 6 or 7 am if there had been no problems.. uhh yeah.. no problems..

things were going great til i hit Chicago.. got on the wrong road.. (294...NEVER .. i repeat NEVER take this road its scary as hell LOL) .. well while on the wrong road .. i got pinned between semis and was unable to get into the toll line.. GAH.. well i DO have a tiny car.. i should have just went under right ? LOL .. so i missed that but couldnt manage to avoid a pothole as big as my car.. i hit the hole and got a bit down the road and realized i was in trouble.. long story short.. i bent two rims.. and had to get a whole new set of tires in a little town outside of racine called sturtevant... i was fortunate enough to be able to write the tire guy a check for the $708.65 it cost to get the tires.. i still had two bent rims but .. they were nice enough to straighten them a little and enough to bet a good set with the tires.. and was told i could drive a bit with out having to get new rims.. which was good news.. cause i really didnt wanna take any more time away from sharon trying to find rims and get them put on .. (i got my rims the day after i got home and they are on my car now)

at anyrate.. about 15 hours later .. and looking like a strung out crack whore.. i pulled into sharons drive.. i was jacked up on caffeine so hard i was shaking LOL.. seriously.. she thought i was having a heart attack LOL... it was good to see sharon .. she was just like i thought she would be.....i cant say the same for myself .. see above crack whore comment...

I had been up for a complete 30 or so hours.. but some how i didnt wanna sleep so .. i didnt.. i took a shower and we headed out to shop.. and Sharon told me i looked and smelled MUCH better after my shower.. so Sharon and Felicia and myself went back out on the road to the Mayfair mall.. and did a little shopping.. i think it was a fun time .. it was definately a fun time..

back at sharons.. i got to meet the rest of the family .. i think the girls thought i was fairly weird.. and i dont think Jeff knew what to think of me til about sunday at racetime LOL..

I really had a good time at sharons.. we shopped friday.. at the mall.. saturday we had a full day .. farmers market which gave me my first taste of cheese curds and a cooler bag full of cheese to bring home .. they were really good.. we had a "date" at starbucks.. more shopping in the afternoon..oh and i cant forget Sheeping Beauty.. OMG what a store!!!...i think i went a little crazy in there .. and i think the fire was that night too .. in the mean time.. remember the bent rims.. i was able to find a whole set on ebay .. for less than the price of one at the dealer YAY for me !! got those ordered..

sunday was Robyns birthday party.. we went out did a little more ..you guessed it.. shopping.. LOL.. i got gifts for Robyn and Felicia.. cause well it didnt seem right to get Robyn stuff when Felicia's bday was earlier in the year and i wasnt there and didnt send anything.. i think they liked every thing !!!

the party was fun.. Jeff and I stayed inside and watched the race.. that was definately fun.. its always better when you have some one to watch with .. and i think after that .. i was considered cool in Jeff's book..sharon i know you are reading .. tell him i cant wait til the Brickyard!!...

so monday rolls around and i got all packed up and on the road toward the UP....it was sad leaving.. it was SUCH fun.. really .. i dont think sharon thought all my stuff was gonna fit in my car but i had room to spare !! amazing..

i know i am leaving alot out .. cause if i went into great detail i think you would all glaze over.. but let me just say .. Sharon is a great hostess.. she was always trying to feed me and made sure i didnt go hungry EVER.. i think i ate better those few days at her house than i had in months LOL.. and i tried to help with dishes and she shooed me LOL.. i really cant wait to go back.. so i guess i have to wait though cause i dont think my car is that great in snow and its coming soon .. so the spring!! so start getting ready sharon!! i AM coming back ..

is it just me ?

2006-08-29T21:58:00.000-05:00

or does any one else find that burger king "king" freakish and almost clown like there for creepy as hell ? those commercials freak me out.. seriously .. i have this total clown thing.. who does their thinking.. there are lots of ppl that are coulrophobic you would think they would be more sensitive right?

at anyrate.. we finally got rain today .. my grass was getting brown and crunchy..

many apologies go out to sharon for delaying my trip.. i know she understands.. but .. hell i am disappointed as well .. but will see you soon.. thanks for being a great friend and getting it !!

i really cant wait for cheese curds saturday .. i have never had them .. i have been told they are the food of the gods !! so i have to see for myself! i love cheese so i cant see why i wouldnt love cheese curds.. so any way .. counting the hours !! ..

(Not So) Holy Roller

2006-08-28T00:54:00.000-05:00

so tonight i went to witness my niece who is 11 get baptized.. that part wasnt so bad.. the sermon after pissed me off.. i was ready to get up and walk out in the middle but felt it would cause a scene.. and i didnt want to embarrass my sister or my mother ..

my older sister felt the same way .. we conversed after the service and we were both offended.. i dont remember the members of the church being such closed minded judgmental people.. but then again the last time i really went i was 11.. i am not saying all people that go to church are this way .. all i am saying is this particular sermon hit all over me in all kinds of wrong ways..

first off.. the pastor blamed the acceptance of same sex marriages on the fact women were allowed to become pastors.. i am NOT kidding you .. his logic went as such.. since those churches went against the ancient teachings of the bible and let women be in charge.. its made a weak link in the "system" so to speak that men would have never allowed .. and these such churches sympathize with homosexuals and condone same sex marriages.. so its the woman's fault cause she was allowed to lead men.. an OBVIOUS role she shouldnt have .. he went on to say that women in the church should NOT be allowed to teach men nor are they allowed to to know more than men ..if they had questions about their teachings they are to wait til they get home and ask their husband to explain... WTF? please let me tell you HOW much this pissed me off.. and i guess the part that made me most upset.. is that .. this is the kind of thinking my niece just got baptized into upholding.. i hope she grows up thinking for herself and decide for herself.. that is all i can say about that .. i respect my sister for wanting to believe in something and trying to do the right thing for her kids.. and i wont go and try to tell my niece what to believe or not to believe ..but i believe that women should be at least treated equally ..

i am still reeling ............and please make a note.. that i usually dont even discuss religion or anything..and i am not trying to blast religion.. i am just saying i think its very wrong to teach your children that women are some how lesser than men .. its archaic this is just very upsetting to me ..

and then there is this

2006-08-25T00:55:00.000-05:00

why do i find Dennis Leary so fucking hot ??

just stuff

2006-08-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

have you ever stopped and wondered why it is the small things that give us so much pleasure.. a perfect cup of coffee.. the smell of freshly cut grass after the rain.. the feel of dirt between your toes..

i love these things.. and stop and think about all these people in the world that seem to have every thing they could ever "materially" want.. and they seem so empty.. they just keep wanting more and more.. and it never seems enough.. of course there are exceptions.. but those kinds of people dont make sense to me ..

i am not rich by any means.. i have some nice things.. and i love my house and my life.. and i cant understand those that dont take the time to find where they are most happy...and i also dont understand those that are so unhappy in their life.. that they have to pursue others that are and try to tear them down .. what gives?

and what is up with those ppl so scared to be alone that they stay in a place .. relationship .. etc.. just so they dont have to be by themselves? i dont understand being with some one just for the sake of being .. i would much rather be alone and doing something positive for me.. than be in a place that bascially sucked the life out of me ..

anyway.. just thoughts i have been having lately.. whilst finishing .. yeah i said finishing .. a shawl.. there will be pics tomorrow after its dry and blocked.. i think it turned out nice..

PS.. WTF is up with Pluto being demoted?

Busy

2006-08-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

or might i say productive already today .. i got up .. had my juice.. i have washed the dogs.. cleaned my kitchen.. made a batch of hummus.. started a load of laundry and still have a bit before the race starts today !! ..

woohoo.. i think i will take a shower make my bed and get a second load of wash in before i sit down and watch the race.. i might even try giving jezabel a bath.. its not too hard since she is still small.. and i can hold her by the nape of th eneck to make her calm down .. i dont think i would attempt this with the other cats but .. since she is less than 2 pounds i think i have a good chance of surviving unscathed..

still more decisions made on the kitchen.. all the decisions made on the bathroom.. i am j ust waiting for my tub to get here.. and once its here that can be knocked out.. i talked to a contractor friend of mine and he is confident i can get it done in a weekend.. i am not so sure about that .. cause of the flooring.. i am putting in the ceramic tiles but also the radiant heat under.. so i have to lay the sub floor.. lay the backer board.. lay the heating mat.. then thin set and the tile.. that has to dry .. then i have to grout .. that alone will take two days AT least.. so i am thinking 4 days.. cause i have to tear it all out.. set in some new plumbing stuff.. then i can do the floor .. the all the stuff has to be put back in .. gah! what a pain in the ass.. and of course i can do the bead board and all the "pretty" stuff after the essentials are put in so that part isnt the part that HAS to get done.. just all these decisions.. ok well i am off to be more productive before the race..

Rennovation Chaos

2006-08-17T22:52:00.000-05:00

i know my kitchen rennovation has you all entralled.. NOT.. i know its so snakes on a plane.. but if i dont get some of the thoughts out of my head.. i think it might explode today ..

the cabinets.. take about 3 to 4 weeks to get made..

i am doing my floor with the help of a few friends.. i dont think i would have wanted to conquer that myself.. so when i order my cabinets the time line starts.. once ordered the floor has to be done by the time they get here.. and did i mention.. umm a couple of my walls might need a little replastering.. and umm they put in a drop ceiling i have to tear out and do soemthing with as well ?

i have made more decisions today regarding counter top and placement.. once i get my rough sketch done i will be glad to share details.. i am fairly fortunate i have a decent space to work with in .. and its basically square.. no odd walls.. no weird stuff.. well ok every thing in an old house is weird.. but you know nothing MORE weird that what i consider normal

so i think once the cabinets are ordered i have to start the floor/wall/ceiling work and even with my help its gonna be a tight deadline .. well ok maybe not.. but still .. thats 3 weeks of torn up crap.. cabinets put in.. and umm they wont do my counters til the cabinets are installed.. yeah you heard me right INSTALLED.. so i will have a kitchen with no counters for oh 3 more weeks.. i had already planned a two month block of no kitchen but you know.. if i can get the floors done and at least the cabinets and appliances set .. then it wont be quite so bad right? at least i can cook.. and do my dishes in the bath room ..

which of course brings me to the project that HAS to be done BEFORE the kitchen but i am realistic.. i think i can do it all myself and be done with it in a weeks time.. there is flooring to put in .. radiant heat elements to put in .. bead board for the walls.. and yeah .. the TUB! .. i have to get all the existing stuff torn out.. and delicately take out my new toilet.. yeah i replaced it when i got back here cause the old one.. well it took 8 gallons to flush and still didnt do that great a job.. least of my worries to reseat a toilet.. so i checked on those really neat-O 1 inch hex tiles while i was at lowes today .. umm i think i will do the two inchers.. i saw the display i think the one inchers are too small and would hurt my eyes.. so here is the deal .. the old owners of this house were well how shall i say it nice.. tightwads.. when they updated the bathroom they didnt see fit to put sub floor under the existing tub.. so i have to tear that out.. put new sub in under.. lay the backer board.. lay the heating elements.. lay the tile.. grout.. and of course set in the new fixtures for the water supply and drain to the tub.. man i am either gonna be real smelly for a few days.. or beg my neighbor for a shower.. lol.. if its still warm out i can shower outside.. anything not to go to bed dirty .. so i mean not bad.. i have a plan and the bath is already designed in my head.. it keeps the other plans company and the voices LOL..

i really do see this all coming together .. any one wanna come help me ? i pay well.. dinner and wine !!

Kitchen Chaos

2006-08-17T14:18:00.000-05:00

ok.. so who out there has totally gutted and done their kitchen? any pointers? anything you did .. that if you had it to do over you would do differently ..

i am currently overwhelmed with the amount of decisions i am having to make.. its crazy..

do you all know how many knob choices there are out there ?

counter colours.. and options?

kinds of wood and finishes.. not to mention door style.. and EXTRAS i might want.. even the glass options are dizzying..

so here is what i know so far..

i want maple.. i want a praline finish .. i want slab doors with full over lay to make them kind of art deco-ish..

i have the black slate.. i have a grey kohler sink.. porcelain over cast iron.. i ahve chosen..*gasp* a different refridgerator and range than i thought i would want.. both in black .. both LG..

now the hard part.. tearing out all the old stuff and putting in all the new.. and doing it in a timely manner.. and yeah .. choosing the counter ..

beyond lucky

2006-08-14T01:54:00.000-05:00

i just have to say this..

THIS baby is making its way to my house the second week in sept... tell me.. who is the luckiest girl in the world ?? that would be me.. cause.. well.. it was a GIFT!! i didnt even have to buy it for myself..how great is that ??

uummmm yeah

2006-08-10T10:50:00.000-05:00

sorry guys no pics.. i am having technical difficulties with getting them off my phone and to my computer .. imagine that ..

the good news !! my talladega tickets came in the mail today .. they are BEAUTIFUL.. i mean that .. they have a picture and stuff on them .. just excited today .. that makes it real for me .. i am actually going !!

on another note

i picked up "big girl knits" .. yeah i am a big girl .. and even though i am losing weight and trying to become a not so big girl .. i would still use this book.. its got alot of info on how you should dress your body type.. and just tips and hints to help the woman of size.. i love it and out of the 25 or so patterns in there i would seriously consider 18 of them.. THAT is saying ALOT ..

i think my first two projects will be Bombshell and Trinity Bay Skirt.. off to yarn shop.. damn the luck !!

Flying

2006-08-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

by the seat of my pants..

i made a very impromtu trip to Cincinnati.. i got a call sunday evening that took me to cincinnati til today ..

let me just say a good time was had by all .. pictures and more tomorrow

and let me just say i am happy to see my MOODS back !!

Foodie Friday Easy Peasy Hummus

2006-08-04T14:59:00.000-05:00

umm yeah .. i have been SO snakes on a plane about foodie friday..

and uh yeah .. i made a pun with my recipe title.. keep reading you will see why

this is one of my FAVOURITE spreads/dips/ whatever you wanna call it... its mulitpurpose and good for you .. and oh so many varieties.. so here you go .. not rocket science by ANY means

2 cans chick peas.. you can cook your own if so inclined.. too hot right now.. reserve about a 1/4 cup "juice" per can.. if you want to use more peas ..you can .. this makes it easy to figure out how much liquid you should have

open and dump in food processor or blender.. i use a blender cause i consider a FP wasted space .. too much crap comes with them.. i digress..

fresh garlic to taste.. i use about a half of a head for two cans of peas.. its really garlicky this way .. i peel and coarsely chop and throw it in the blender..

a good pour of olive oil.. i would say about a half cup..

i like spicy so i add a dash of cayenne.. some salt.. and some freshly cracked black pepper..

then i throw in a handful of hot banana pepper rings.. you can use mild.. you can use a few.. you can use roasted red bell pepper if you wish to have a milder version.. want hotter.. use habaneros.. or throw in a dash of habanero hot sauce.. i also put in a little of the "juice" from the peppers..

and that is it.. put the lid on the blender.. turn it on.. let it blend.. turning off and scraping the sides til well blended and smooth.. add a little water or extra chick pea juice to get the right consistancy.. serve with crackers.. pita points.. or use as a spread on a sandwich .. or as filling.. or dip baby carrots or celery.. its really tasty..

this can be kept in an airtight container for up to three weeks in the fridge or can be frozen with good result.. a batch around here doesnt last that long ..

you can use alot of different things... imagination.. can take you many places.. ENJOY!!

Words Of Wisdom

2006-08-04T13:25:00.000-05:00

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hot

2006-08-03T14:26:00.000-05:00

.. yeah its been that way every where.. and i am actually thankful.. that its really not been THAT bad here.. i mean i am in the south what do i expect from my summer weather but heat and humidity.. its just been oppressive the past couple of days.. and i do have to admit.. i giggle ever so slightly when talking to a friend in boston and its hotter there.. cause i was told at one point or asked rather "how can you live in the south with all that heat?".. well apparently its hotter there right now.. so .. you tell me ? LOL.. i am so bad..

despite the weather .. i have been walking.. it sucks but . you know .. i have to train or i will never make my 20 miles per day on the walk !

I did break down .. shut my windows and turn on my down stairs AC units the other day .. and boy am i glad.. i was just running it upstairs and at night.. but the past few days would have been enough to just kill me i think had i not done it. its pleasant in here and my units dont run near as much as one might think..

in case you havent heard.. Kari and I are going to YARN SCHOOL!!.. i cant wait its gonna be so much fun .. we are trying to recruit some more ~~victims~~ fun people to join us.. i cant think of a better way to spend a long weekend.. i think i will even take my kite and see if i can get some flying in the site shows a nice hay field suitable for that kind of thing.. i dont know what i am more excited about.. learning some awesome trick spinning or seeing and meeting ALPACA.. cause .. well i love me some alpaca!! We are both hoping to have our wheels by then too .. i mean they offer a package and its a SWEET deal.. i just dont want the wheel they are offering.. so i am gonna just bring my own ..

been fairly productive around here lately.. getting the foyer done.. boxes all unpacked.. i only have a ~~million or so~~ few more boxes full of crafty stuff that will probably have to sit a little while longer .. having an old house has drawbacks.. closet space.. or lack thereof .. is one of them .. i do have a plan though.. there is alot os space under my stairs not being used very well.. soo.. i am going to implement a plan and get that to be my craft /storage space..

at anyrate.. i wanted to post and let every one know the snakes on the plane didnt eat me !!

Helpful Hint of the Day

2006-07-31T00:59:00.000-05:00

when you corner a wild animal and jab him with a sharp stick.. dont expect him to take it for long or quietly ..

and when he DOES fight back.. you cant really blame the animal can you ?

..about racing and stuff

2006-07-27T14:51:00.000-05:00

Well kari . I will do my best to talk Mark Martin for you .. I do have a pit pass LOL..

Azathoth.. here is the story about the person i support.. i used to try to follow the races with my dad when i was younger .. i remember him watching on sundays.. i think i was about 10 or 11.. and really it was more an excuse to hang with him then really watch the race or care about what was going on .. soooo fast forward a few years.. ok more than a few ..

my interest was piqued again by some one really special to me .. we would/ will watch the races either together or separately then talk about it.. i learned the rules..why stuff happens the way it does.. i have really gotten into it.. the strategies etc.. so the year i started in again was Kasey Kahne's rookie year.. so ..i decided who better to support than a rookie cause i was a rookie.. so that is who i follow.. i didnt wanna be accused of picking the most popular driver or the one that won the most.. so there you are.. i do have a second one i cheer for as well .. Elliott Sadler simply because we share the Elliott part of the name and i think he is a nice guy.. there are alot of the drivers i really respect for their integrity .. and sportsmanship.. and there are those that are really great drivers i cant stand because they dont seem grateful for what they have or wanna blame every one else for their mistakes.. ..

so anyway .. come Oct 8th.. I will have Kasey Kahne ball cap and lariat and I will be off to the races..

Boogity Boogity Boogity

2006-07-26T15:24:00.000-05:00

Let's go racing..

yeah i am gonna be in Talladega.. Oct 8th!!!!!.. just got my tickets.. i cant wait..i was lucky enough to get in on one of the best places to sit.. Anniston Tower.. at the entrance to pit road!.. the only thing better would have been the start / finish line.. maybe next year!!

the only drawback is .. i waited too long to book hotel.. so i will be staying in the ATL.. and have to drive about 100 miles to the track.. i dont care!.. i am just thrilled to have tickets!

Love of My Life

2006-07-19T14:45:00.000-05:00

hehe i dont think its what you had in mind.. but ..

i have been bombed with email and requests to show you my house.. and quite frankly .. i havent been able to upload pics from my camera cause ..well i have "misplaced" my cable that attaches it to my computer.. so yesterday .. between bouts of misfortune LOL.. i managed to snap a couple with my phone (yes my phone! it takes great pics .. who knew?) and i was able to send them to myself via email.. and then crop and fix them up and then uplaod them to photo bucket

so a few fast facts..

~ my house was built in 1894...my bedroom.. the kitchen and bath were added in the early to mid 20's

~ i have about an inch shy of an acre for a yard

~ i am aware the columns look like crap .. i have ordered new ones and i await their arrival.. they will be the turned ones .. and when they get here and are changed out .. i will put up railing and a little ginger bread around the front like it used to be.. i have a back porch for reference .. its closed in but the original colums are there and the gingerbread.. why it was stripped off.. i cant tell you ....but i am putting it back on ..

~please ignore the crap in the back yard.. work in progress..LOL .. and as you can see on the back pic .. i have gotten to the flower bed on the right and the one on the left is being ridded of the mint jungle as we speak (type... whatever) i worked out there a bit this morning before it got so hot

~ i am in total love with my house.. when i walked in her for the first time i KNEW i was home .. i wish every one the same experience when buying a house and hope its as easy as i had it.. this was only the third house i viewed.. and it was THE one.. if only dating was this easy LOL...i made an offer on the spot and only had to wait about 12 hours for an answer .. woohoo! that was easy .. then i signed a couple papers and wrote them a check..

~i thoroughly enjoy my home

~ when i was 11 i had a dream about a house that was white with a wrap around porch and a green roof.. and i knew some how .. some way .. some day .. i would have that house.. this house had a green roof when i bought her.. and it looks almost exactly like the one i dreamed about

~every thing i do here is a labour of love..

so with out further ado..

my house.. been trying to name her for the past 9 years and havent come up wiht any thing.. if one of you clever folks have an idea i am open .. please throw it out .. thanks !!

Front

Back

And So It Goes

2006-07-19T12:31:00.000-05:00

short list..

and it has to let up soon right??

~AC in the bedroom quit in the middle of the night.. woke up hot as hell soaking wet with sweat .. i love the south and its humidity.. GAH.. good thing i have a back up .. now to just get the fucker in the window LOL

~Stepped ON Jezabel.. you would think she would learn.. she is fine.. i got the bejezus scared out of me from her "scream"

~ picked up bag of mulch.. it EXPLODED.. ok ..not exploded but the bag broke and now i have black mulch in oh so attractive pile about 20 ft from where i want it to be

~one of the dogs threw up .. i stepped in it .. BAREFOOT .. gross..

~missed the last two stairs coming down.. i am ok .. art work is not .. could i destroy more valuable things..?

ok seriously .. i guess i am destined to three days of this bullshit.. so maybe tomorrow will be the last day .. i dont know if i can take much more !! i swear i am tempted to go back to bed and not get up for a week !

GAH!

2006-07-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

*disclaimer*----those of you that really know me know i rarely bitch about my life.. i have a pretty good one .. but yesterday i was in a weird vortex that has to be chronicled..

have you ever gotten up and really wondered why you did.. ? you knew your day was gonna be one big clusterfuck from beginning to end but you got up anyway put your best game face on and tried to make the best of the shitty day ahead..

that was my day yesterday .. of course there are some things going on with me that i will not post about .. sorry to keep you in suspense or "tease you " but my private life is just that.. and there are a few of you that get to know all about it .. at anyrate lets just say .. it really started sunday evening .. with a small bit of frustration and a little heart ache.. then monday morning it just got better .. i say that with the most sarcasm possible in the written word..

it was much like to day waking up .. i woke up with a headache.. how the fuck do i manage that ? get up .. hot as fuck outside.. my great dane has sensitive skin so the heat gets to him and if i don t keep one of those lampshade things on him he chews himself raw on the haunches.. its liek hot spots on steriods.. at anyrate .. he managed to get out of the collar.. i wake up to him chewing.. and look down .. i swear he looks like a baboon .. red ass.. gah.. and the smell we wont go there.. so i get up .. get some water.. take some medicine for the head ache.. clean the stupid dog up .. i just gave him a bath sunday .. little fucker..

let them both out .. the dane and the boston.. brutus the boston finds the first dead thing he can and rolls in it.. again.. just gave them a bath sunday.. GAH! bath for both again the DAY after i just gave them one..

then it seemed every thing i picked up i dropped.. not a big deal really .. nothing broken jsut me being clumsy.. until Jezabel.. my newest little kitten decides she is gonna help out with the clumsy thing and gets under my feet.. as i was trying to put a plate away .. so trying not to stomp her results in .. one twisted ankle.. one twisted back .. two plates dropped cause it just worked that the plate i was putting away was just in the right postition to pull another out of the cabinet.. so one broke one didnt.. and let me tell you the one was a cheap assed white ironstone plate and the other was my grandmothers blue willow serving platter that was about 21 inches wide.. let me let you guess which one broke.. uh huh.. you got it.. the blue willow one.. i was sick.. still am sick over .. cause i found a replacement .. for $300 .. *faint*.. i will say this though .. the blue willow was given to me with a promise i would use it and not stick it in a cabinet so grandma.. i know you arent reading .. but you should be proud to know i am doing as you asked.. it just makes me sick that i broke my biggest serving piece trying not to trip over a stupid cat..

moving forward.. go out side to try to get my new garden cart together.. i really should have just given up on my day after the platter but did i take the fucking hint? no i am stubborn like that.. so .. i get out there .. to put this thing together.. it doesnt have all the parts WTF? sealed NEW box.. i guess it was packed on a friday some one was in a hurry to git r done.. i come in .. i have two boxes of nuts bolts screws etc.. so i found something that would work til i could get to the hardware store or call for replacement parts.. because i needed it to walk my gargabe to the trash center today .. (part of endurance training.. pulling a cart with weight for 3/4 a mile then back empty)

i sit down last night to knit.. nothing goes right.. til about 2 am then i hit a good groove.. i go down stairs thinking hey .. new day .. its gonna be all right..

in the kitchen to get a bottle or two of water so i can go back upstairs finish watching Clerks .. and knit a little more.. i celebrated a little too soon.. apparently i didnt get the platter cleaned up really well.. i stepped down on a small piece of porcelain.. that i had to remove from the dead center of the bottom of my foot with a pair of tweezers .. with much cursing.. a little clean up later my foot was ok.. it hurts like a bitch today .. puncture wounds do .. so when i got up for my walk this morning you can bet every step had pain involved.. two whole miles of it..

so how was your day ??

ME!!

2006-07-10T21:21:00.000-05:00

i am usually not into meme's but this one struck my fancy .. i bolded what i have done.. why dont you do the same ?? you might surprise yourself.. i know i did

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said 'I love you' and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby's diaper

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb

33. Seen a total eclipse

34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Visited all 10 provinces

41. Taken care of someone who was drunk

42. Had amazing friends

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

44. Watched wild whales

45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe

47. Taken a road-trip

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland

52. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them

54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow

56. Alphabetized your cds

57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Sung karaoke

59. Lounged around in bed all day

60. Posed nude in front of strangers

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain

63. Played in the mud

64. Played in the rain

65. Gone to a drive-in theater

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites

70. Taken a martial arts class

71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie

74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days

77. Made cookies from scratch

78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. Rafted the Snake River

82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"

83. Got flowers for no reason

84. Performed on stage

85. Been to Las Vegas

86. Recorded music

87. Eaten shark

88. Had a one-night stand

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house

91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one of your parents

93. Been on a cruise ship

94. Spoken more than one language fluently

95. Performed in Rocky Horror.

96. Raised children.

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

98. Created and named your own constellation of stars

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an illness that you shouldn't have survived

105. Wrote articles for a large publication

106. Lost over 100 pounds

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane

109. Petted a stingray

110. Broken someone's heart

111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a T.V. game show

113. Broken a bone

114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

118. Ridden a horse

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi

128. Had your picture in the newspaper

129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about

130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed

132. Petted a cockroach

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes

134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey

135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

137. Skipped all your school reunions

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office

140. Written your own computer language

141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146: Dyed your hair

147: Been a DJ

148: Shaved your head

149: Caused a car accident

150: Saved someone's life

Some Thoughts

2006-07-01T20:36:00.000-05:00

just a thought .. when you threaten some one.. and its blackmail.. its a crime....

and when some one stands up for themselves.. its not cool to retract what you said.. just cause you didnt think they would.. its NOT ok to threaten ppl you think you can bully ..just because you can get away with it ..you have STILL committed a crime!

i hope you get every thing you deserve.. cause that piece of humble pie wasnt big enough to choke your ass..

all those that dont have a clue as to what i am talking about are probably better off.. back to normal blogging next post...

oh p.s. if you stalk my blog you should at least have balls to comment.. BIATCH..

Easy Tomato Salad

2006-06-30T09:55:00.000-05:00

1 pint grape tomatoes, halved ( or you can dice regular tomatoes or use cherry ones)
dill, fresh is best but dried will do in a pinch
Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar
Freshly Grated Parmesan

in a mixing bowl throw in the tomatoes and dill to tase.. i use about a sprig of fresh.. pour in about a quarter cup oil and a quarter cup vinegar.. salt and pepper to taste.. let stand in the fridge for about 4 hours..

to serve.. spoon into small bowls and sprinkle freshly grated parmesan on top

YUM!

things that make you go hmmm..

2006-06-29T08:07:00.000-05:00

here is what has me hmmming today

a certain group of people think its appropriate to troll blogs and make things very difficult on their precious board if you say anything they dont like.. so in their mind.. its ok to say things like.. you can say what you want on your blog but there will be consequences.. WHAT THE FUCK?

the last i recall .. your blog is your own space to say and do what you want.. so big brother back the fuck up and realize you are just a little person running a crochet board.. not the gestapo .. not hilter.. a LITTLE PERSON running a fucking crochet board.. and you need to realize .. just cause you probably control every one in your little world .. doesnt mean you can control the internet..

Hot you say ?

2006-06-21T14:21:00.000-05:00

not so much hot as humid.. yesterday i couldnt move with out being well umm clammy.. pretyt much the same today .. not condusive to outside work much.. however i did do a little late afternoon in the shade of my 125 year old maple in the front yard.. and i took a little time on my front porch to plant some morning glories (flying saucer and crimson rambler) in my strawberry pots.. i hid them strategically behind the columns so when they do take off and start climbing .. it just looks like magic has happened.. that is really the only planting i will do til the fall since its late in the season here.. i have a couple planters i may go get a few plants for just for a little more colour on th efront porch and make it look like some one lives here.. the other work this summer will be cleaning beds.. spreading mulch ..laying weed barrier.. and getting ready for fall bulb placement.. and oh did i mention that i am tilling up a third of my front yard to make a shade garden.. ambitious yes.. hard work yes.. worth it.. yes..

i have been making plans for a year .. LOL.. and come this fall most of my thoughts and dreams will come to fruition.. i am also embarking upon a complete kitchen redo.. talking gutting all the way down to the floor joists.. no shit.. and its gonna be gorgeous ! i really cant wait .. the kitchen here has been the one part of this house i have not really enjoyed to the fullest because its.. well stupid.. the lay out was poorly thought out.. and the previous owners .. let's just say .. they did only what they HAD to do .. so i was thinking since the kitchen was added in 1920.. lets to deco-like room.. and that is exactly what i am doing .. black/olive/ pimento are my colours.. stainless appliances .. black slate floor and grey finished cabinets....still debating countertop.. maybe something like THIS or even THIS to accent the pimento .. i have a little while to decide but have decided on appliances.. i have picked out all frigidiare stuff in black and stainless..

i have also finally decided on a bedroom.. i know i have been torturing certain friends for ages trying to make up my mind.. but i saw this in person the other day and decided it HAD to be the one.. i am in LOVE.. !!

so this is what i want with the bed.. dresser and mirror.. the end table as a night stand .. and th elarge mirror over my mantle.. and still debating the armoire or the chaise.. maybe you can help me decide.. i dont think .. actually i KNOW i dont have room for both .. i need the dresser or i would have the armoire and chaise.. no dresser.. but with no closets i need the dresser space..

Home

2006-06-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

finally wired and back on line.. woohoo.. the cable guy did in fact come to hook me up wednesday as promised ..however.. the company didnt plan for my "special needs" case LOL.. first off.. my house is over 100.. second.. my house is more than 70 ft deep .. third if they have to run line more than 100 feet they have to use a different wire.. ( i did not know this ) .. so when he got here wednesday .. needless to say .. the wire i needed for my house .. well there just wasnt enough on the truck to do what had to be done.. the nearest hook up was across the street.. it had to run from that box.. across the neighbor's yard and be tied to the pole on the side of the drive then to my house and ran underneath.. so lets review.. house more than 70 feet.. across the street.. across the yard .. down to my house.. yeah i think that was over 100 feet..so anyway .. i am here now and that is what matters with only 3 holes drilled in my 100+ year old floor in very inconspicuous places.. the less electronic stuff showing in this house the better.. that is why i chose to hide my computer tower in my radio cabinet.. the only thing you see when you l ook in this room is the monitor and the lights on the modem .. no cords.. no tower.. key board and mouse sleep in a drawer.. its nice.. and i like hiding my tv upstairs.. and in this room its in the closet.. literally .. i take it out when i want to use it ..

any way off that tangent .. been working on the two years of over growth outside.. done a little unpacking.. and just .. well been enjoying the HELL out of being home.. damn if it doesnt feel good.. i sat on my porch swing today drinking an ice cold beer and watched the rain after getting the last of the trimmed branches and stuff hauled to the back of the yard for my bonfire later this summer.. the rain started just as i was pulling in all the stuff i had been using.. umm did i mention i bought a chain saw the other day ? man is it SWEET husqvarna 455 .. that bitch saws thru wood like buttah .. made quick work of the 4 trees that needed taken out and cut up .. and i trimmed the front trees with my new fiskars by pass pruners.. and hacked up my spirea with my hedgetrimmers.. man i love me some tools .. and destruction.. my Fosters was completely earned today and yesterday ..

well off to bed with my tired ass.. tomorrow.. its gutter cleaning and faucet repair.. woohoo the joys of coming home to a house that hasnt been occupied much in two years.. i sure do love the old girl.. she IS the love of my life.. pics later..

On the Road

2006-06-11T13:51:00.000-05:00

I am off guys!! WIll head out tomorrow and will be home tomorrow night but not wired til wednesday.. see you then !!

Foodie Friday

2006-06-09T18:34:00.000-05:00

gah .. i have been bad.. bad.. bad.. and Deneen reminded us this week how bad we have been .. i confess.. i have been busy or i have jus tcompletely had my head up my ass the past couple weeks.. so today.. foodie friday get a recipe .. dammit.. and that way deneen can quit tapping her foot and giving me dirty looks LOL....

Best EVER Daiquri....

frozen fruit of choice

a little lime juice..

some rum..

ice

whipped cream .. or whatever you wanna garnish ..

in a blender throw in a handful of ice.. a handful of frozen fruit, a good glugg of rum..and a dash of lime juice.. blend til smooth .. pour in a festive glass.. garnish however you want

Enjoy!

Virginia Part Deux

2006-06-01T23:42:00.000-05:00

so where was i when i was so rudely interrupted.. oh yeah .. just got to the eaglets.. anyway ..

while we were on the tram we passed "Friendship Pond" where it is believed.. if you walk hand in had around the pond.. you will be friends forever! .. can you believe that ? well .. Lani was enjoying her wheelchair ride SO much .. LOL.. sorry bout the bumpy ride really .. i was trying.. she mustered the strength and we .. marvie.. lani and myself .. oh yeah Llarry too .. walked around the pond.. B accompanied us.. but was having no part of the hand holding.. something about being lame..and girl cooties or something.. so we made it around the pond and of course had to have a group pic with Llarry of course.. so B had the honours.. and his mom *gasp* let him use her camera.. where as he was quick to proclaim undying love for her .. cause he apparently hasnt been allowed to even breathe on the camera at this point..

so here we are after our walk ..

and here is my demonstration to B on how i take Llarry pics all on my own ..Llarry was enjoying the fountain in the pond.. and its a very technical process *snicker* .. i put him on my finger hold it out in front of me and snap a pic.. very tricky LOL.. NOT!

as we left the pond.. we had to move over for the tram.. B was playing around with his yo yo and the tram driver called out for a trick.. so after he left.. i was in a silly and sarcastic mood.. and well commented i had a trick for him ..and you know.... well i flipped the bird.. we all giggled and i was informed by B that i was MEAN! can you believe that LOL??? and of course the ever sharp lani had to add in that "was part of my charm".. it was a good laugh..

we made our way to the Japanese garden.. and well at this point B is getting into Llarry .. (let remember he called me lame earlier for this ) and was all about Llarry posing on the pagoda.. and under the japanese maple and one a lily pad type plant.. for some one that didnt like Llarry too much he was sure making certain Llarry was getting his photo ops in LOL.. he even served as Llarry's prop.. it was cute

Llarry catching some rays

another view of where Llarry was catching rays.. (the red arrow indicates his pad)

Huge Koi in the pond...

Llarry saying hi to lani under the tree ...

Llarry gettting a little help from B .. on the pagoda.. and under this ancient japanese maple.. it was beautiful

and of course Llarry keeping a watchful eye.. on B as he teases the koi with rocks..

and this has to be my favourite pic of Llarry at the gardens .. he is really enjoying the guava blooms..

after the gardens .. we stopped off at Chic Fil A .. for lunch .. where upon B insisted "Llarry has to come in .. cause he might miss something .. " and i guess he would have missed B's ice cream mustache.. that would have been a pity.. and we did kind of trick B into this but it WAS funny ..

after the pic of the milkshake moustache..he gave lani a look like .. " how could you betray me like that?" sooo funny ........

I also have to add I have a new boyfriend.. and Llarry has a new friend .. his name is Hunter.. and he is in love with me !!

and umm no that isnt a carry on sized bag.. that is a FULL sized suitcase.. isnt he beautiful??

i guess that is it for now every one !!.comment and let hunter know how pretty he is .. Lani will give him the message

PS.. here is where Llarry was on the Mermaid..